Make a Resolution Not to Make a Resolution This Time

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So my salonist was telling me about how they’re not allowed to take a holiday in Dec because it’s their peak time of the year. Apparently, some of their customers believe that cutting your hair before the new year is a way of leaving your troubles behind (because naturally, your troubles happen to reside in your hair).

But we’re approaching that time of the year when people will go to sleep on Dec. 31 and wake up as totally new people on January 1, resolving to eat healthy, lose weight, wake up early, drink kale smoothies, lift weights, go running, change the world…
Until January 12, that is.

I’m not a big fan of the virtual switch that people pretend to turn on at the beginning of every year, simply because I think it gives people yet another excuse not to start on a Personal Development program (oh, it didn’t work out this year…maybe next year).
If you think about it, setting up New Year’s Resolutions are one of the most effective procrastination techniques ever invented.

So if you want to join the anti-NYR group, here a few other things you might want to try;
– Do a 30 day challenge (statistically speaking you’re more likely to finish a 30 day challenge than a 365 day one). Matt Cutts made those famous in his TED talk.
– List a 100 things you’re grateful for. Basically, put your Attitude of Gratitude on steroids.
– Audit your life, don’t overhaul it. Most people try to do so much so fast and fail miserably. So instead of all that, just take a 30,000 ft view of your life and see which areas would need improvements, and which ones seem to be okay.
– Get to know your future self. One of the biggest weaknesses of resolutions is that it’s a promise your today self makes to your future self. “I resolve to lose 50 lbs by next year make yourself.” But the thing with promises — and I’ve written this over and over again — is that they’re hard to keep because the mentality with which the promise is made is usually different from the mentality with which it has to be kept. That’s why, instead of promising your future self something, get to know them. How do you want them to feel? How do you want them to look like? What do you want them to have?
Once you’re clear on how your future self is, start taking actions. Small, consistent, action.

And that my friends, are the first steps to being great without the whole resolve-shame-disappointment cycle that plagues people every year.
What are your opinions on this? I’d like to hear from you on twitter @ahechoes #antiNYR
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Also, check out my short story collection, “All Bleeding Stops and Other Short Stories from the Kenyan Coast,” and the book summarizing a lot of ideas in the personal development field if you want to change your life but don’t know where to start, Mine Your Inner Resources.

On Snapchat and the Ephemeral

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I feel there are two types of people; those who understand snapchat and those who don’t. Before I start, let me admit that I fall under the latter category. I don’t understand what is it about the app that has captured the attention of so many young people. It also makes me wonder what affect it could have on people, especially the young.Would they translate their love for the ephemeral to real life? Does that mean that their fashion, friendships, and marriages would have a 24-hour expiry date? What would history mean to them? Would it encourage stalkers?
Or maybe this fascination with the ephemeral could be a good thing. They might refuse to be shackled by the cultural story their parents brainwashed them with. They might be able to bounce up quickly after every fall because that rejection was “soooo yesterday. They might get engaged into every moment of their life without being encumbered by pains from the past.

Or maybe, I’m overthinking all of this? What do you think about snapchat? Do you use it? Tweet me @ahechoes.

If you like this post, support the work by sharing it with your friends on facebook, like the facebook page; https://www.facebook.com/AH-Scribbles-1699410536954329/

Also, check out my short story collection, “All Bleeding  Stops and Other Short Stories from the Kenyan Coast,” and the book summarizing a lot of ideas in the personal development field if you want to change your life but don’t know where to start, “Mine your inner resources”.

Don’t Let Your Self-Worth Be a Function of This

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https://ahechoes.wordpress.com/?attachment_id=8029It’s quite interesting how we’ve bought into the idea that our self-worth is a function of something outside of ourselves; be it our jobs, or spouses or college degrees or all of the above.

The sad thing happens if we ever lose that one thing, we feel like we’re nothing. We don’t know where to start, and we turn into that headless chicken that first inspired the phrase. That’s why the first thing to do is to have multiple identities so if one of your identities isn’t working out for you, then another one takes over. Let’s say your job is the only thing your life revolves around, losing it becomes disastrous. Whereas if there are other identities and roles you play – maybe you’re a good son/daughter, or you volunteer in your community or you have a good social support – the blow from losing that job lessens.

The second thing to do is to make sure our self-worth is a function of internal strengths, and I’ve personally come to learn this the hard way. I come from a small tight-knit town and one thing we have that I haven’t experienced in other places is the very strong influence society has on people’s personal choices. It’s like a magnet that keeps the iron filings — or people — in line.
If you’re one of us, chances are, the phrase “What will people say?” always plays somewhere at the back of your mind, and it’s difficult to break the habit even if you’re trying to break away.

So you walk around defining your self-worth as a function of society-approved thing; for men it’s a corporate job, and for women it’s a husband and kids. So if nothing about your life has society’s seal of approval, you’ll probably hear your fair share of talk about being abnormal, inadequate, and unworthy. The nice people say it in front of your face, and the not-so-nice ones say it behind your back.

And everyday you’re going to have to remind yourself of your worthiness, not because you have something, but because you are. It doesn’t matter what job you’re holding or whether or not you have a ring around your finger a kid tagging along by your side. Remind yourself you’re worthy because you are. Remind yourself of your personal values, and take concrete steps to live by them day in day out. Remind yourself to treat people with respect, and to add value to the lives of those around you. Remind yourself to engage fully with the world, to feel the sand tickling your feet, to watch the silver supermoon melt into dark, choppy waters, to close your eyes and feel the wind against your face, because life is beautiful and you get to be here…

Most importantly, remind yourself it’s a battle you’ll keep on fighting every single day…

simply because you are.

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Also, check out my short story collection, “All Bleeding Stops and Other Short Stories from the Kenyan Coast,” and the non-fiction book summarizing a lot of ideas in the personal development field if you want to change your life but don’t know where to start, “Mine your inner resources”.

Are You A Creative or A Critic

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Are you one of those people who can be seen typing furiously in response to a youtube video or a facebook post? Do you have fifteen one-star reviews on amazon because some things just don’t match up to your expectations? Are you always disappointed by the books and movies you consume, always giving people within earshot a piece of your mind? Are there people within earshot left given how much you complain about everything?

If you answered, “Yes,” to all of the above, you’re most likely a critic. I was listening to one of the episodes on the school of greatness, and the guest — Michael Port — was saying, you’re either a critic or a creative but you can’t be both. How things work is that the harsher a critic you are to other people’s work, the harsher a critic you are to your own work, so you’re less likely to produce.

And it really hit me how most of the people I come across are critics,and yet it is true their creative output wavers around the zero line. They complain about how everything is horrible or has room for improvement. And funny enough they are the ones who are more likely to care so much what others think about their lives.
But if you’re a creative, you’re too busy learning your craft, and producing work to leave a comment on someone’s youtube channel. You’re too busy producing work to care what other people’s response to it is. You’re too busy ignoring your inner critic — and your outer critic…

And yes, maybe there is room for critics in this world, since after all, reading reviews before spending time and money on a book or other piece of art is not a bad idea, but does the critic have to be you? There are many critics in the world already…give them space to work while you work on your own art.

So which one are you? Decide today; are you a creative or a critic?
Let me know on social media, by tweeting @ahechoes #CreativeOrCritic and if you like this post, support the work by sharing it on Facebook  and like the facebook page; https://www.facebook.com/AH-Scribbles-1699410536954329/
Also, check out my short story collection, “All Bleeding Stops and Other Short Stories from the Kenyan Coast,” and the non-fiction book summarizing a lot of ideas in the personal development field if you want to change your life but don’t know where to start, “Mine your inner resources”.

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