Wearing the cape all by yourself

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In Sarah Kay’s poem, If I should have a daughter, she says, “ There is hurt, here, that cannot be fixed by band-aids or poetry, so the first time she realizes that Wonder-woman isn’t coming, I’ll make sure she knows she doesn’t have to wear the cape all by herself.”

Sometimes it’s better to wear the cape all by yourself, because it’s liberating. You no longer feel an obligation towards anybody, because nobody really helped you wear the cape, so they don’t get a say on how high you fly. And one more thing, you might want to drop the people who weigh you down. Drop them gently so they don’t feel the impact, and they get to walk away safe and sound, but drop them nonetheless. Because let’s be realistic, you can’t heal all the pain in the world, even if you wanted to.

Some people, they’re going to enter your life to ruin things for you, so at the first sign of danger, do yourself a favor, turn and walk away. It’s not selfish. It’s a means of self-preservation. Sometimes when you’re a nice person, people abuse your niceness, then they take you for granted, then they walk away to better pastures. Be grateful when they walk away. Don’t be sad, be grateful. Because you didn’t need such people in your life to begin with. Some people need to realize that if they can’t handle you at your worst, then they don’t deserve you at your best. So a quick trick is to show them your worst – right from the start – to know where they stand.

And if it scares them off, let it be.

And that’s my cynical message for the day.

Winners announced!

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So the names were selected by assigning a number to each name and using a pseudo-random generator to select two numbers in order to remove personal biases and the winners for this are:

1) Abdallah F. Ahmed

2) Fida


I’ll email you for your MPesa and Amazon accounts. I’ll be using the email addresses you inserted to make the comments so if they are incorrect then please reach out to me. Thanks to all who participated. iStock_000018539499XSmall


Either way you can’t breathe

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You tell yourself not to be too happy, to repress everything. Don’t go so high dear, so you won’t get hurt when you fall. But it’s not a relative thing, this emotion thing. When the worse day of your life comes and you experience a huge loss, it doesn’t really matter how high you used to be…where you were the day before or the month before that in fact….when you lose something, it hurts…it hurts so bad you will wonder how it is physically possible for your heart to hold so much pain and not run out.

The blogger at “Cakes, Tea and Dreams” wrote a beautiful quote on grief from  “The Royal We”, “I remember understanding what a brutal thing it is to be the bearer of truly bad news – to break off a piece of that misery and hand it to other people, one by one, and then have to comfort them; to put their grief on your shoulders on top of all your own; to be the calm one in the face of their shock and tears. And then learning that relative weight of grief is immaterial. Being smothered a little is no different than being smothered a lot. Either way, you can’t breathe.

The only thing you need to remind yourself is that it’s human. It’s all too human to feel. And maybe now you may feel like there’s no light at the end of the tunnel, and there’s no such thing as hope and you’re on a roller coaster that’s going down, but you need to put one step in front of the other. I know the most default reaction is to be paralyzed but whether you like it or not, you need to take action. Because if emotion is energy in motion, then motion helps mold it.

That’s it for today.


WIN a prize on my blog!

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As a token of appreciation for everybody reading this blog, I’m offering a prize. The rules of entry are easy.

1) Leave a blog comment (don’t call me, don’t whatsapp me, don’t email me) with a method of how you would like to receive the prize (1,2 or 3 below) [To comment on this blog, you’re usually required to enter an email address. Enter a valid one so I can contact you if you win]

2) Share any post on twitter and Mention me @ahechoes [If you win, I’ll follow you so you can DM me your email address]. Retweets of my tweets are not counted.

3) Share any post on facebook via my ahechoes page (and make sure I’m tagged so I know) [https://www.facebook.com/pages/AHechoes/106194199429264]. Likes are not counted.

You get your name in separately for each social media site but the maximum number of times you can enter is three. Refrain from spamming please and I do get your IP addresses, so don’t try to put multiple blog comments using the same IP address. Also I would only consider the first mention for each twitter handle/ or facebook share.

Each of the two winners would get around 25 USD (rounded up to 2500 Kenya Shillings and down to 90  UAE Dirhams). I would pay them through the following medium:

1) Amazon.com gift card (not amazon.co.uk)

2) Kenya’s M-Pesa

3) AlAnsari Exchange or Bank Deposit if you are in the UAE

I apologize if none of these are applicable to you but that’s the best I could do.

This will run until 15 June 2015 (12 pm UAE time) In Sha Allah.

Please make sure you mention explicitly which method of payment you would prefer, but do not leave personal details such as phone number or bank details on the blog.

Also note, it usually takes me some time to moderate comments so refrain from posting multiple times at the same time (in case you refresh and don’t see your comment yet).

I would need at least 5 comments (and/or Twitter mentions) or this giveaway gets cancelled. Also note that I will keep this post at a top, so new posts will appear below it. For those who visit the homepage to see if there’s anything new, you might need to scroll down just a little bit.

So what are you waiting for? Leave a comment below and spread the word!