Month: October 2014
Every day you wake up with this hole in your chest; an ever-expanding pit in that place where blood gets pumped around your body. Depression is a horrible feeling. It is that sticky black residue that remains after all hope has evaporated from your life. It’s hard to imagine happier days down the road because the thing with this ‘D’ feeling is that it gives you a sense of permanence to everything. Like nothing’s ever going to change. And ‘ ever’ is a word not to be taken lightly.
I look at you and see parts of you die on the inside. It’s like I have an aerial view of a well-let city and then the power starts going off, one block at a time. God know in my heart, I wish I could switch the power back on, one block at a time. Make you realize that even though there’s been some darkness in your life, the time period was so small, it was inconsequential, like the seconds after the power goes out and before the back-up generator kicks in.
I wish I could make you open your eyes wider and see there are still people out here who love you and care about you. Maybe they’re not the people you want them to be, but they’re the people you need them to be. And I wish you could see yourself through their eyes, our eyes, to see how much our lives have been made richer by your presence.
I know your initial reaction to this dark fog inside is to shut out the world. But shutting out the world will not make this chasm in your chest any smaller. Sometimes it’s hard to get out of bed. It’s hard to put one foot in front of the other. It’s hard to open the blinds and let the sunlight in. But you’ve got to do it.
Because light trumps darkness.
Every. Single. Time.