So the other day, I was watching the cars passing by on the main street under our house – a strange pastime of mine – and I saw a guy riding a bicycle on the highway. Cars kept on appearing from view and disappearing as they rounded the corner, and the guy was cycling at a very leisurely pace. I wondered how he felt moving at a snail’s pace in the dust comparison with cars passing by at 100 kph at least.
But then again, can you compare the legpower of an average male with the horsepower of an engine? This guy made me see that sometimes in life, we really need to stop comparing ourselves to the people around us. Some may be prettier, smarter, have better jobs, or more friends, and we might be inclined to do preposterous things in an attempt to compete with them. But we need to remember that each one of us has a unique set of talents and qualities that makes us who we are.
Some might claim that comparing ourselves with others can be quite motivating, and it could be true to some extent, but at some point or another, frustration begins to set in, because wherever you are in life, someone will always be in a better position, and for every ounce of motivation we might get, we risk the chance of getting a pound of frustration, helplessness and worse of all, ingratitude and envy.
So sometimes it’s best for someone to make an inventory of their strengths and weaknesses, work hard to compete with himself, and be better than they were yesterday.
Hadeeth of the Day
عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : “انظروا إلى من هو أسفل منكم. ولا تنظروا إلى من هو فوقكم؛ فهو أجدر أن لا تَزْدروا نعمة الله عليكم” متفق عليه.
Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Look at those who are lower than you and do not look at those who are higher than you. That is more likely to prevent you underestimating the blessing of Allah on you.” [Agreed upon]
Hadeeth translation source: http://www.sunnipath.com/library/Hadith/H0004P0055.aspx
So today I was thinking about how in life, changes tend to happen a lot, so we have to learn to accept that and let things go. A lot of times, a person walks out of our lives, and we might get hurt but we keep on telling ourselves that “It’s okay, I’m moving on,” when in reality we are only lying to ourselves because we are NOT moving on. A void exists, and our hearts ache when something really interesting happens and we reach out for the phone to call them only to remember that they’ve walked out of our lives willingly, maybe something catches our attention, a flower, a building, a phrase and flashbacks begin when we start thinking about them.
So no, we have not moved on.
The worst thing happens when they move on with their lives and leave you behind, especially when the story’s been repeating itself over and over again. That’s why I put the quote on facebook, “Same story, same pain but different names…” The thing is, these people might not be out of your lives entirely but the situation changes between the two of you. For instance, something happens and you learn not to trust them as much as you used to. Or where once you used to be their #1, now you’re thrown into #2 position. And you know, at one point I was okay with being #2, until one day I realized that I’d rather not be in the list at all.
It didn’t take so much willpower as much as it took time, time to get used to being out of the list, time to get used to fight the itch to call the number, time to get used to….
Because one day you wake up and realize you can’t live your life hanging your happiness on someone else out there. You can’t live life thinking that I would be happy if that particular thing happens, or that person walks back and remembers what you’re worth or…
Remember that what you really have is now, so appreciate the moment, close your eyes, take a deep breath, and feel it in yourself, letting go, detaching yourself from that person or thing that’s left you behind a long time ago, and don’t do it for them.
Do it for you.