It’s graduation season again and a lot of students are already saying their goodbyes. So one of my friends passed by looking really depressed because their best friend was about to leave. “I’m happy for them but still, I don’t know what I’ll do without them.”
I find myself well-suited to advice on this simply because it’s been a recurring theme in my life so here I was dishing out words wisdom;
1) It’s going to be hard at first but you’ll eventually get used to it. The space they leave in your life will fill up, and sometimes you’ll feel like the replacement is better than the person who has left. Of course, how soon you bounce back would depend on you as a person. Some people are more adaptable than others.
2) You need to realize that not everybody is meant to be in our lives forever. Some people’s role is just to transit through our lives and teach us something, and then they move on. So what matters is what part of themselves that we hang onto.
3) The worse enemies you can make are your ex-best friends, simply because they know so much about you. So, sometimes it’s better for an amicable separation to take place because you never know, maybe if you had stayed together for longer, your relationship would just erode and become a huge source of negativity in your life. And you can’t say that “We would never be like that,” because seriously, you never know what circumstances could happen that would pull you apart.
I personally find comfort in the last idea. Of course, it’s an adaption technique that usually could not be verified. But as long as it works…
So I guess that’s today’s food for thought. Leave your comments below and tell me how do you deal with goodbyes?
This is an excerpt from an imaginary story I wrote once during uni titled “From Sarah With Pain”,edited to fit a note.
Saying goodbye has never been easy. There came a time in my life when I felt as though avoiding farewell was better than expressing it, but that brought about new meanings for pain. At night, sleep evades me and in the morning thoughts of you haunt me. I feel as though just because I did not say goodbye, then it is still not goodbye. And yet, it has been goodbye for a while. All I had to do was face it and learn to accept it.
I do not know how to start; how do you say goodbye to a person who helped mold you into who you are? How do you say goodbye when your train of thoughts goes down the same track that they showed you? How do you pretend to delete a number from your phone when you know that you’ll never be able to delete it from your heart? How do you say goodbye when you are caught up in the fantasy that it might just not be the final goodbye?
I don’t know where the story began. I am not sure it even did. Sometimes I wonder if you were real or just a character I made up. I remember once you told me, “Nobody can ever know the real me.”
Now I understand what you meant. The real you never existed. You’re so used to wearing masks, playing different roles with different people, that it seems even you can’t recognize yourself. I don’t know why I am destined to be a loser in this game, but I guess this is what I get for being too ambitious in a society that was not ready to accept people like me yet.
So I guess this is it. Today I pack my bag, and leave everything behind.
I guess it’s written that I shall always be a solitary wanderer; always a stranger among my own people; always in search for a place to call home. But is home really a place? Maybe home is not a place, but an idea, fabricated by the restless; an idea that found many people who would romanticize about it, and carry the dream about their trip back home to the graveyard. As for me, my trip back ‘home’ turned out to be a mess, but now I understand what you told me once about how there is always an order in mess. So I guess this is it, I’m saying it now so I could sleep at night. I’m saying it now so I can find some peace. I’m saying it now, because I really mean it. Goodbye.
P.S. What do you think she has in her hands, when she says, “ I have it in my hand – the key out of my misery.”?