In The Happiness Equation, Neil Pasricha writes how when he was blogging, he kept on setting more and more ambitious goals and hitting it. He finally realized, “No matter how many external goals I achieved, I just kept setting more. I started realizing that external goals didn’t help me become a better person. Only internal goals did.”
How many times do we find ourselves in the same situation? We reach a goal and suddenly, we’re not satisfied with what we have, and we end up wanting more. That’s practically the definition of ambition, and it’s a good trait…except when it’s not. Like when a person back stabs a friend to get ahead or when that hunger causes them to sell their family…
You were willing to sell your family for pizza?
I actually read something close to that once, and found it funny…
The Let-It-Go approach
I’ve seen people suffer because they hung their hopes on one job, one person, one thing…and when they don’t get it, or when they get it and end up losing it, they spend far too much time whining over it. So the let-it-go approach is simple, especially when it’s something or someone (I guess I’ve seen more scenarios where that thing was a person) that’s making you unhealthily obsessive…just let it go. Cut all connections with them. No FB friendships, no twitter following, no blog following….just let them go. And I would like to tell you that with time they might come around, but chances are, they won’t but you’ll be happier without them in your life anyway.
I mean, so many times I’ve seen people trying to force a narrative in their life; two people who come from sparring claiming to fall in love just because they want to stage a Romeo-and-Juliet kind of story even though they’re totally incompatible….and every time people try to force such narratives, things become so complicated that eventually it breaks apart.
So let them go. Write their name on a paper and burn it. Find reasons to hate them if it’s possible. Freeze your heart whenever you hear their name, and scowl. Do whatever it takes for your peace of mind.
So let it go. And don’t follow.
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