Of marriages based on dishonesty

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Her name? It doesn’t matter. Her story? She got married under the impression that the man was single. But it turned out he had a wife. And a child. While the ease of travel has opened up opportunities for people to go and work in other countries, it has also given young men an excuse to fill up their four-wife quota as they claim; “You don’t expect me to be alone when I’m there…”

And because the second and third wives are from a country different than the guy’s headquarters, such women enter marriages completely oblivious to the existence of the first family.

I’ve heard this story so many times in our Kemeni community, and at some point, I thought it was one of those stories that would die in the post-Facebook generation (since people’s personal lives are everywhere). But the latest victim I know of is five years younger than me, and it seems guys are getting smarter and deactivating their facebook accounts when they’re planning to extend their families. Which makes me wonder one thing.

Is honesty dead?

The fact that guys can actually do this without being held accountable for their actions infuriates me. Where is society to make this behavior stop? Unfortunately mothers of men like this end up taking his side, in the worse case scenario, aiding and abetting, and in the best case scenario saying with a resigned sigh, “What can we do? Boys will be boys.”

The least the mother can do is tell the family of the second wife-to-be that her son is already married but then again we can’t always blame the mother because it’s . When did honesty become so hard? But no. Because boys fear rejection, they keep that hidden until it’s too late for the girl to run, and then they go,
“Oh, by the way, meet my wife. And kid.”

Honesty is not a virtue that needs to be celebrated and applauded because it is a virtue that needs to be the norm so it’s quite a shame when people go around building entire households on dishonesty. If the guy can’t think of his wives’ feelings once they discover the truth, the least he could think about is what he’s teaching his children….

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One thought on “Of marriages based on dishonesty

    Naomi Baltuck said:
    February 27, 2015 at 7:19 pm

    So sad.

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