Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

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There is a story that gets told over and over again about two brothers who were raised in a house where their father abused their mother. When they grew up, one of them abused his wife thinking it’s the normal way to treat women, and the second one grew up to be a loving husband who never lay a hand on his wife.  This story is usually given as an example of how two different people may be exposed to the same scenario but end up reacting differently.

Sometimes you might ask yourself why people treat you the way they do. Maybe in school you used to get picked on a lot. Since you’re only human, your reaction is to become utterly insecure and self-conscious. You start hating yourself, thinking there’s something inherently wrong with you. And it might take a while to learn that the way people decide to treat you – or mistreat you- isn’t really about you at all. The way people treat you is more of a reflection of themselves. Maybe these bullies see violence and abuse as the only solution to everything because it is how they were raised by their parents. Or maybe they suffer from insecurity themselves and that’s why they try to compensate for that by making others fear them.

So don’t make assumptions about people, for you never know.

I personally like the quote, “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle.”

It makes you realize that you can’t always know what someone is going through. Sometimes it’s because they can’t articulate it properly. Sometimes it’s because they don’t want to. Sometimes it’s because they have no idea what they’re going through. It’s like they are upset and they know they’re upset yet they don’t understand why.

And it happens.

Tell me you’ve never had that feeling like you’re spiraling downwards. Really fast. It’s like you try to hold yourself together but can’t because so many things are happening and it’s all out of your control. You hit the panic button. Again and again. But it has stopped working a long time ago. And your reaction turns out to be disastrous, maybe to yourself, maybe to the people around you.

So never make assumptions about people for you never really know what they’re going through.


3 thoughts on “Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle

    Yusra said:
    December 5, 2013 at 5:05 pm

    Thanks. That was really nice to read! 🙂
    I was reminded of this verse of the Qur’an, “O you who have believed, avoid much [negative] assumption. Indeed, some assumption is sin.” (49:12)

      AH responded:
      December 5, 2013 at 5:06 pm

      Thank you for your comment

    ramblingandjack said:
    December 10, 2013 at 5:07 am

    i once heard a similar story of two boys who grew up with a father who was in and out of prison. one boy became an inmate himself, the other went into local office. when interviewed on how they got to where they were, both men said, “with a father like mine, how could i have turned out any different?”

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