When I was in high school, I had a friend who told me, “Promise me that we’ll always keep in touch.”
My answer was pretty blunt and frank,” I don’t make promises.”
I think she got pissed off but I told her not to take it personally, it was a general rule I didn’t break back then. I didn’t make promises in fear of one day having to break them. And I’m glad I didn’t promise her because we grew up and grew apart, and oh well, that’s life.
It’s amazing the effect that broken promises have on children. Some grow up to believe that promises are made to be broken,while others grow up with such personal rules; not making promises lest they have to break them. It’s like they may have adults around them telling them, “We will,” and “okay, insha’Allah,” and “I promise you that…”
Then nothing materializes, and the adult hopes that the child forgets, when sometimes the child doesn’t really forget, but they find themselves continuously in a series of daydreams taking pictures with mickeymouse by their side because of the parent’s promise to take them to DisneyLand. Then when it doesn’t happen, the disappointment is so immense that they turn into teenagers and stop trusting their parents or other adults in their lives.
But then again broken promises don’t end at childhood. They continue well towards young adulthood, especially when guys promise girls they’ll marry them only to bolt out the door at the closest exit sign, thinking that the girls should have seen it coming anyway. Then if asked, “why did you make such a promise?” They would justify it by saying, “I was just telling her what she wanted to hear.”
Then they grow up, and get married, and the spouse promises to love, cherish and never cheat, yet they end up getting the shock of their lives when the vows get thrown into the garbage disposer because situations have changed, and they end up going their separate ways.
So basically, situations might change and people tend to break promises, because they make the promise at a mindset that is different from the mindset at which the promise is broken. So sometimes the best thing that somebody can do for you is not make you a promise. They’re guarding your heart from future pain and disappointment because they know that situations might change, and breaking the promise would be inevitable, so they’d rather not make it. They’re not really being cynical but realistic (but don’t all cynics say that anyway?). Especially when they have a lifetime experience of broken promises and having to carry the broken wings of a fallen bird called Hope, trying to nurse it into health only to discover that it was actually dead.
- Hadeeth of the Day
- Narrated by Ibn Aamir: My mother called me once, whilst the Prophet (peace be upon him)
was at our home and she said, “Come here, I will give you something.” Thereupon the Prophet (peace be upon
him) asked, “What did you want to give to him?” She replied, “Dates.” The Prophet then
said, “Had you not given him anything, it would have been recorded as a lie.”
دعتْني أُمي يومًا ورسولُ اللهِ صلى اللهُ عليه وسلم قاعدٌ في بيتِنا
فقالتْ: ها تعالَ أُعطيكَ فقال لها رسولُ اللهِ صلَّى اللهُ عليهِ وسلَّمَ وما أردتِ أنْ تعطيهِ ؟
قالتْ : أُعطيهِ تمرًا، فقال لها رسولُ اللهِ صلَّى اللهُ عليهِ وسلَّمَ :
أما إنك لو لمْ تُعطيهِ شيئًا كُتبتْ عليكِ كَذِبةٌ
الراوي: عبدالله بن عامر بن ربيعة المحدث:الألباني –
المصدر: صحيح أبي داود – الصفحة أو الرقم: 4991
خلاصة حكم المحدث: حسن