A Family Worth Fighting For

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An excerpt from “From Sarah With Pain” (a by-now-very-dead project I worked on back in 2008);

You know, once upon a time, I used to love the word ‘family’ until I discovered that most family members took their kinship for granted; people who think that they have the right to hurt somebody just because they are related to them; people who stamp on each other for the sake of materialistic gains; people who no longer respect the word, ‘family’, and maybe I am the same, but I’m neither the first person nor the person to be like that.

Following up on Relationships worth fighting for, let’s focus today on family. The equations of family relationships are supposed to be the easiest in the sense that you tend to carry unconditional love for people who are related to you by blood, right? Also in Islam, upholding the ties of kinship is obligatory, and it is explained by the Messenger (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) when he said: “The one who maintains a relationship with his relatives only because they maintain a relationship with him is not truly upholding the ties of kinship. The one who truly upholds those ties is the one who does so even if they break off the relationship.” (Reported by al-Bukhaari, 5645). [1]

When people are younger, they may respect the word ‘family,’ defending their siblings when they get into trouble so they end up into trouble together, but as they grow older something happens. Maybe it has something to do with “Familiarity Breeds Contempt” (or to be more exact, “Family Breeds Contempt”). Maybe other people enter the equation in the form of wives-husbands-in-laws and result in disequilibrium. Or maybe they decide to put their money together in the form of a family business, which puts one of two things at risk; either the business or the relationship. Or maybe they just grow up and grow apart, developing their different personalities that act like sodium and water, so that the status of the relationship disintegrates with time.

Whatever the reason, I don’t think it’s justified, because in the end family is family, and upholding ties of kinship is a religious kinship.

Quote ;  “I don’t care how poor a man is; if he has family, he’s rich.



6 thoughts on “A Family Worth Fighting For

    amirajammy said:
    June 27, 2011 at 12:17 pm

    interesting point of view….thanks!!

    Khadra said:
    June 27, 2011 at 5:35 pm

    Well we don’t choice our families, and which interesting many of us will fight for family cause we have this loyalty for them even though if they wrong or right, it’s like blind judgment when it comes to family no matter how distant or close relatives they are, if outside is a threat we stand up against the outsider. But the question is what if the threat is within the family and specially as you mentioned if they have family business or sister in law or brother in law, I have notice many Eastern society some still consider sister and brother in law as an outsider and if one of the family member tries to do wrong towards them, his/her family members will be loyal towards the family member against the sister/brother in law. In the case of Family business where money is the factor, many siblings will quarrel and fight but again some will side with the one who has the most money no matter if he/she is right or wrong.
    It is not easy compare to relationship worth fighting because in relationship we see it as it comes and goes but families once it goes it’s hard to bring it back. Very hard question to answer, for me Family is important and i will be loyal but the question is to what extend????

    yara610 said:
    June 28, 2011 at 6:21 am

    Nice topic 🙂
    You know even if some families have problems but I am sure they hold love enough love to fix them no matter how complicated things get.
    In addition to what you said, I think that humans are all selfish somehow (in different levels), it gets worse as you grow up and face difficulties of life, and each member starts having his own family and gets busy away from his/her parents and siblings. The best way is to be fair as much as possible and balance our relationships , because we have rights towards each member in our family.

    pitzevans said:
    June 28, 2011 at 9:39 am

    family is important, sad that most people realize the value of family when they loose a member and quickly forget when sadness is forgotten by the healing of time.

    AH responded:
    June 28, 2011 at 4:52 pm

    Thanks everyone for your comments

    Overview of June’s posts « A Heart's Echoes said:
    June 29, 2011 at 8:41 am

    […] was a transition from job issues to relationship issues on Relationships Worth Fighting for and Family Worth Fighting For. And finally the month ended with some productivity tools to help you keep track of things such as […]

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