The Masks People Wear – Comments

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So to comment on the comments of The Mask People Wear, first we need to distinguish between the term ‘wearing masks’ and having privacy . We all hide private stuff from people because it’s normal. However, by wearing masks, I mean people who portray to others that which they are not. Examples might have of people who drive huge cars that they got from bank loans just to fit in with society when in reality they can’t even afford the car or the lifestyle they’re living. I mean, people who hate each other inside but talk to each other like old pals. People learn to wear masks from such a young age, and I see it in the teenagers who emulate pop stars just to fit in with their friends at school. People who wallow in gossip everyday when they don’t like doing it, but because that’s the pastime of their group, so what to do? (for those who don’t want to see the comments, my opinion in the blue paragraph)

The best comment I received was, “sumtimes you just have to hide certain weaknesses or faults becuz you know that showing it won’t help you overcome them nor will make you feel any better, it’ll only make you more vulnerable and needy without getting enough support in return from ppl… who happen to be just as helpless as you are sometimes….. so i dont really see the mask concept applies on this case..sometimes its merely losing hope in people’s power and putting all faith in Allah’s power …however, not admitting to those weaknesses n faults is the unwanted attitude.. life gets so busy that we fail to have a sit down with our true selves and workk on our unresolved matters.”

Other interesting lines include, “We all have two sides, at least. the good side and the not too good side. It just depends on who we chose to be with every person that we come across.”

” showing your real face can have very bad consequences, because after all, people only see your through their own distorted lenses”

“Yes i do wear a mask…but not in the sense that i am fake! We have in mind that those with masks are two faced. No its not. I believe everyone has one on…its a part of us…”

And about the masks one wears to one’s own self, the comments were, “Facing yourself, accepting who you are, is a big, big achievement that most people never succeed at.You can’t take off the mask if you don’t know what you look like without it.”

“But then my discussion with you AH makes me think, is it really a good idea to drop off all the masks? I think maybe when it comes to oneself..maybe.”

Upon the reason, why people wear masks, we have this comment, “On a side note, I believe that it is the surroundings that you grow up with also plays an important role in determining what side of your personality you would like them to see and which side you’d rather have hidden from everyone.”

Then there’s, “i could say lack of self confidence but yet again we humans have this urge for everyone to like us, be in the cricle of the society, trying our best not to be outcast.”

I agree with most comments, and I’d say since we have come to the conclusion that most of us wear masks, and tend to hide our faults and weaknesses, sometimes wearing masks comes out of necessity. Some of my friends can’t imagine this, but sometimes I put on the “DramaQueen” mask just to get what I want from my family. Why? Because it’s what works.

However, cases where chronic mask-wearing can become serious is when people blindly emulate others without thinking for themselves, and the most prominent example is of the teen emulating pop stars to fit in and be ‘cool’. Because then the person might grow up without a sense of identity or individuality, so that they can’t even take their own decisions and have others run their lives by others. And you might see people who seek acceptance in any way even if deep, deep down inside it goes against their own values and principles. So yes, as mentioned in the comments, “Facing yourself, accepting who you are, is a big, big achievement that most people never succeed at.”

But I disagree with, “You can’t take off the mask if you don’t know what you look like without it.” Just because you don’t know how you look like without a mask doesn’t mean you can’t take it off. Taking it off might cause some confusion, but it’ll take time for the person to study and figure out his identity without the forces of the people around shaping them. Maybe the person will need help from a close friend to let them see who they are inside, like the person who grew up with a tough dad who taught him that crying is only for girls, and thus the boy grows up translating his anger in any way OTHER than crying; he would punch people, throw things, but never cry because he doesn’t know what it is to cry. But if someone notices that thing in him and makes him aware that he’s only exhibiting his anger through violence because he is not used to anything else, he might end up changing, you never know.
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9 thoughts on “The Masks People Wear – Comments

    enas satir said:
    June 10, 2011 at 6:07 pm

    i love this topic.. guess i missed all the discussion in the comments though!
    keep it up 🙂

    john riddle said:
    June 12, 2011 at 7:09 am

    Nice post…or posts…
    Wearing masks…hmmm..nowadays its more like a survival technique we’ve adapted to our set of skills. We don’t run through the woods hunting for animals to eat anymore, we just go to the supermarket…I didn’t see anyone talk about the core of the matter- “lies”- deceit is a very usefull tool but also very destructive if u do it to yourself…its probably the worst thing one can do…but we all do it! Even though people say they don’t …they’re doing it as they say that:)))) we need to show social value, moral value to fit in …and be accepted, cause in the end its all about that!! I wrote something similar on my blog. People don’t accept things just because things are in a certain way, we don’t want to hear the truth!! Or lies…for that matter…we just want to hear what we want to hear. That’s why we put on masks, lie, cheat, control others…etc…the post on my blog started from a quote from “revolver” (2005)…and it goes something like this ….”There is something about yourself that you don’t know. Something that you will deny even exists, until it’s too late to do anything about it. It’s the only reason you get up in the morning. The only reason you suffer the shitty puss, the blood, the sweat and the tears. This is because you want people to know how good, attractive, generous, funny, wild and clever you really are. Fear or revere me, but please, think I’m special!! We share an addiction. We’re approval junkies. We’re all in it for the slap on the back and the gold watch. The hip-hip-hoo-fuckin’ rah!!! Look at the clever boy with the badge, polishing his trophy. Shine on you crazy diamond, because we’re just monkeys wrapped in suits, begging for the approval of others.”

    Mohamed AlHamahmy said:
    June 12, 2011 at 7:19 am

    Let me comment on your comment about my comment.
    “Just because you don’t know how you look like without a mask doesn’t mean you can’t take it off. Taking it off might cause some confusion, but it’ll take time for the person to study and figure out his identity without the forces of the people around shaping them.”
    Well, yes. See, that’s the thing. If you’ve figured out your identity, then you know what you look like without a mask. Otherwise you don’t know WHO you are.
    Let me make two last points here:
    – Figuring out your identity is a lifelong struggle. “Who am I?” That’s not an easy question to answer. And if that wasn’t bad enough, your identity is constantly changing, so who you are tomorrow isn’t necessarily going to be who you are today.
    – I’m not sure taking off the mask is a good thing at all. You seem to relate wearing a mask with lying and/or being someone you’re not. That’s not entirely true. Some personas you assume in everyday life are parts of who you are- you just chose to use different parts with different people. Maybe on the football field you let a little bit of the jock you take over. Maybe with a religious friend you let a little bit of the religious you take over. That doesn’t mean you’re not being yourself.

    Yasmine said:
    June 14, 2011 at 12:18 pm

    I think we assume that people are wearing masks, and become shocked when they reveal their true selves because we tag people to a certain label or mold or category, like the personality characteristics modern psychologists identify us with (ISTP, INTJ and so on) and how our whole modern society and thinking is becoming so artificial or mechanized, it is either you are this or that, and if you are one thing you can not be the other.

    Humans by nature are flexible and adaptive beings, they can change and reshape according to the situation and environment they find themselves in. They have a wide spectrum within their personality traits, and hidden thoughts, feelings as well as intentions that don’t appear, and may never appear forever unless this person is tested.
    However modern humans are starting to lose such an ability, where they can only live and evolve under certain conditions and circumstances, among creatures of their own species, other than that they will become endangered and soon extinct. Anyone who is of a different disposition or let’s say a different type of species is a parasite that need to be exterminated or else it can be a threat to such a modern community. Therefore this unfortunate creature if weak enough can only survive in a modern world by being “part of us”, or he would have to live his/her life the hard way. Therefore, Masks (like shields and spears for a caveman in the jungle) became a means of survival in our modern world, to be able to fit in and become a reputable figure among the rest of your tribe.

    This Mask is part of who the person is too, and it just indirectly shows his weakness, vulnerability, lack of confidence, indecisiveness, untruthfulness, impurity, lack of faith in himself and a sort of resentment from the package that Allah gave him. Like the person with an addiction or shameful disease, he tries to hide it from people, and believes that he is doing exactly this, but in reality everyone knows his disease and illness. The problem is everyone around him carries some sort of disease, everyone is hiding something and deceiving the other, and each one can’t expose the other’s vulnerability in fear that his will also be exposed. So as a result the deception and artificial utopia which everyone is comfortable with will ever continue.
    If we submit to Allah by accepting our package which involves physical appearance, financial status, family, roots of origin, our points of strengths and weaknesses, be content with that, and try to maneuver within our package and improve on it, and use it to benefit ourselves and others, instead of totally denying everything that makes us who we are, and get lost with all the masks, until we someday lose ourselves and become just like anybody else.

    Yasmine said:
    June 14, 2011 at 12:27 pm

    People just prefer the easy way out …Being some one else is easy, but being yourself that’s just difficult.

    Yasmine said:
    June 14, 2011 at 12:51 pm

    Just another thought since this topic became an epidemic in our society….It is just so wonderful how Islam fights such fake societies and prevents them, not only by teaching the believers to be humble, content and submitting to Allah (sub7anahu wa ta3ala) but also by imposing certain actions like advice.
    I really find advice so powerful in breaking the chain of deceiving one another. Those who can advise entered already into the realm of accepting themselves and others, and having the courage to start the change, without fear of losing the acceptance of others. He or she who works for Allah and not for people are less likely to have a mask.

    Another thing is being truthful. There is a saying by Ali (radya Allah 3anhu) which portrays being truthful in knowledge, where he said: “One who does not know should not be ashamed of asking until he has knowledge, and one who is asked about something he does not know should not be ashamed to say ‘I do not know’ ” 🙂

    retireewannabe said:
    June 19, 2011 at 10:51 am

    AH, now you will have to write a new post
    “The Masks People Wear – Comments — Comments”

    Overview of June’s posts « A Heart's Echoes said:
    June 29, 2011 at 8:41 am

    […] lot of comments from readers who connected with that post, leading to a compilation of comments on The Masks People Wear – Comments. Then I disappeared for 11 days and returned with a post that was not exactly that popular titled […]

    The Masks People Wear…Again | A Heart's Echoes said:
    November 13, 2013 at 5:14 pm

    […] a collective groan from you, Oh no, there she goes again since I’ve written about it here and here ), but […]

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