Do you suffer from control issues?

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So I was trying to work on converting a results image from a linux-based form to jpg and the result was something like this.  I am not sure what the actual image is supposed to look like but I know that this is not it. To tell you the truth it made me think of shooting stars for some reason, and suddenly I found myself on this blog.

Today I find myself reflecting on matters of the heart. The other day I was watching a video of an open-heart surgery and I was mesmerized. Of course, my reaction would have been different if there wasn’t a screen between me and the patient’s open chest since blood makes me queasy. But I thought of how little control we really have over our own hearts, let alone our own lives. When the heart beats normally, we tend to take it for granted. We eat all the wrong things and don’t do enough exercise to take care of it. We don’t really think much about it, and whether or not we’re letting it strain with the effort of carrying our weights around. But if God forbid, the heart’s beats start to change and turn erratic- racing, skipping beats or fluttering – suddenly all attention turns toward to it. Crash carts start rolling, defib pads and paddles get prepared for that heart in distress.

And naturally, I remembered this Hadeeth


So whenever you feel like your control issues are getting the best of you, just close your eyes and listen to your heart. Let it remind you that there’s little you can actually control.

Bring Your Own Sunshine

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There are times when we think our happiness is dependent on other people. If only “other people” would show up more in our lives, or show their approval of us or just make us laugh then we will be happy. But you can’t really control “other people”, what they do and what they don’t. It really isn’t their job to make you happy. Unless you signed them to a contract and you’re paying them to make you happy. You’re responsible for your own happiness so as the quote by Anthony D’Angelo goes, “Wherever you go, no matter what the weather, always bring your own sunshine.”



About the image: This is my favorite image from JJ’s blog, “Castle of Words” taken from, “Photoblog: Sunrise at Tiwi“. In the midst of trillions of words published online, somehow JJ found my blog and not only did she follow it, but she was also inspired to start her own blog. Now, I have to admit that the student has surpassed the teacher. With all the different forms of JJ’s creative expression (especially the images taken of beautiful Kenya), I find it really amazing to watch JJ’s journey unfold.

Free your hands to catch beautiful things

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They say you must always try to strike the balance between holding on and letting go. While doodling today I found myself writing, “I’m letting you go so I can free my hands to catch all the beautiful things falling out of the sky.”
And there have been beautiful moments these few months. Among the anxiety and the stress and pain there have been moments of pure joy where I stopped to acknowledge them. Not necessarily by taking a picture of anything and recording it, but by only feeling…
Because things happen and things change, inequalities flip sides and balances get tipped. And such is life.
So when beautiful things fall out of the sky, stop and hold out your hand to catch them. Stop. If only for a few seconds….
Also, don’t try to do everything on your own. Friends and family are there for a reason. When you’re happy let them share your happiness and when you’re having a tough time they’ll support you and make it feel better. At least that’s what they’re supposed to do anyway.

Keep Looking Ahead

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So a friend of mine suggested that I should rename my blog to “Daily Dose of Cynicism”. Apparently, my message in Of Graduations and Goodbyes was too cynical for her taste. I tried to defend myself by saying that whatever I wrote was just a summary of conclusions based on data collected across the years. Yes, people leave. Yes, it was good while it lasted. Yes, they will be missed. But life goes on and the time we used to fill hanging out with them will be filled hanging out with others. So I really don’t know what is wrong with thinking that way. The underlying message I did not explicitly state before is simply; keep looking ahead.

I know personally, I tend to ruminate on the past a lot. After all, it’s where I get half of the material for my writings from. And if you really think about it, a lot of writers end up with depression simply because of that obsession with rumination. So for people like me, who tend to do that obsessively, it is good to keep a post-it somewhere to remind ourselves to “Keep looking ahead.”

And I will refrain from adding, “with dread” to that last phrase even though my cynical self is so burning to say it.