At times of uncertainty

There are parts in our paths that are plunged into darkness. We get filled with doubt and uncertainty. A friend of mine once asked, why is it that when people do things the wrong way, they get what they want but those who do it honestly, don’t? The question resonated with me and it took me a while to come up with an answer. I figured out that maybe our tests are different, uniquely-tailored. Maybe her test was to see all those people taking the wrong paths to what they desire, and see if she is going to be strong enough to stick to the right track, while their test is just to know the taste of these short-cuts and see if one day or another, they’re going to change.

Interesting enough, since I last saw her, she spoke to me telling me that the thing she was talking about; it had finally worked out, all praise is due to Allah (SWT).

So lately it has become easy to get me subdued. Blame it on the summer heat that has commenced with a fiery zeal after the spring showers or on all the horrific news headlines that are inundating my twitter time line, so I occasionally try to remind myself with this small poem I wrote once,

“I will not let anything get me down,
Whenever something starts to bother me
I imagine the wide expanse of sea and sky,
adorned by a glorious bleeding sun
I see the wide expanse of sand and sky
That show us how tiny we are in the wide scope of things
And I mutter
اللهم أرزقني حسن التوكل عليك”

 

 

This is a reminder to myself just in case I forgot.

The Blessing of Islam

So recently I came across this article “Islam offers student new life in the UAE” that talks about how a student called Luis Garcia reverted to Islam while he was studying in University of Houston, then his parents cut him off and stopped sending him money. As the reporter wrote, “Just as he was beginning to despair, a friend called him and told him to meet an Emirati man at the local mosque. One week later, the Emirati told him everything had been arranged for him to move to the American University of Sharjah, where he would be fully sponsored by a sheikh.”

Reading such stories always make me think about how we take this religion for granted. We take it for granted that growing up, our parents might knock on the door every day, calling, “Salaah, Salaah.” We take it for granted that we live in a place where we don’t have to worry about the food that we eat. We take it for granted that when we go out, we don’t have to worry about where we’re going to pray. Even Mawaqif, the parking company who gave me a parking ticket as Eidiya this year,  and who are known for being brutal when it comes to illegal parking cut you some slack during prayer time.

So I guess today’s reminder is to take the time to truly appreciate being a born Muslim in a Muslim country, and saying alhamdullilah for the blessing of Islam. A lot of self-help books flood bookstores nowadays because people suffer this void in their lives which they cannot fill using the materialistic things they have gained. This void is what we would call “a hungry soul”. By inundating themselves with materialistic things, people tend to starve their spiritual side, and that’s when the sales for Prozac start hitting the roof; the same roof that some people might decide to jump off.

Also, the way the opportunity came to Luis to come to AUS reminded me of how whenever the concept of wasta (was6a) comes up, like when someone says, “I can’t find a job because I don’t have was6a,” my parents would always say that you may not have was6a but you do have the power of duaa and that’s more powerful.

So I would conclude with a message from Luis Garcia (now known as Luis Abd Al-Rahman) to the Muslim youth, ”I find really sad that many Muslims forget their values and principles as they actually want to stay as far as possible from them. Many young Muslims nowadays are anxious to live the life Hollywood has promoted for so many years, forgetting who they are, where they come from, and where they should be heading. Now, it isn’t my intentions to judge anyone. In fact, I’m totally against judging people’s behavior or decisions. The relationship between a Muslim and Allah is totally personal. However, I would like those people to remember that, unfortunately, every time they call themselves Muslims, they don’t only represent themselves, but Muslims in general. Very often, people who have no idea what Islam is, only have two sources to understand it from: what media shows, and what we, Muslims, show. So, would they like to show their religion?”

You can visit his website at http://abdalrahman.net/

Lesson Learnt from a Bicycle Rider on a Highway

source: istockphoto.com

So the other day, I was watching the cars passing by on the main street under our house – a strange pastime of mine – and I saw a guy riding a bicycle on the highway. Cars kept on appearing from view and disappearing as they rounded the corner, and the guy was cycling at a very leisurely pace. I wondered how he felt moving at a snail’s pace in the dust  comparison with cars passing by at 100 kph at least.

But then again, can you compare the legpower of an average male with the horsepower of an engine? This guy made me see that sometimes in life, we really need to stop comparing ourselves to the people around us. Some may be prettier, smarter, have better jobs, or more friends, and we might be inclined to do preposterous things in an attempt to compete with them. But we need to remember that each one of us has a unique set of talents and qualities that makes us who we are.

Some might claim that comparing ourselves with others can be quite motivating, and it could be true to some extent, but at some point or another, frustration begins to set in, because wherever you are in life, someone will always be in a better position, and for every ounce of motivation we might get, we risk the chance of getting a pound of frustration, helplessness and worse of all, ingratitude and envy.

So sometimes it’s best for someone to make an inventory of their strengths and weaknesses, work hard to compete with himself, and be better than they were yesterday.

Hadeeth of the Day

عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه قال: قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : ”انظروا إلى من هو أسفل منكم. ولا تنظروا إلى من هو فوقكم؛ فهو أجدر أن لا تَزْدروا نعمة الله عليكم” متفق عليه.

Abu Hurayra reported that the Messenger of Allah, may Allah bless him and grant him peace, said, “Look at those who are lower than you and do not look at those who are higher than you. That is more likely to prevent you underestimating the blessing of Allah on you.” [Agreed upon]

Hadeeth translation source: http://www.sunnipath.com/library/Hadith/H0004P0055.aspx

A Stinging Phrase

How many people throw out phrases casually without knowing the effect that they have on others? Think about the married woman who’s fighting a weight problem, and someone casually says, “Congratulations! You’re pregnant!” Or when someone is being bullied at school just because they are a bit different, or a bit sensitive. I remember once when I was in school (back in the lower grades) some of the kids used to make fun of me when I ate brown bread saying, “You’re eating bread that’s the same color as your skin.”

Yup, simple phrases could cut so deep that people end up carrying the scars forever. So the other day, I was discussing with a friend about my journaling habits.

Some of my diaries throughout the years (I emphasize on the word ‘some’)

I explained that going through school was a lonely process because I never fit in with the crowd. I can’t remember having a Kemeni friend at school ever (my brothers don’t count). Funny enough, someone reading my blog from AUS sent me a question the other day, “Where are you from?” When I explained I’m originally Yemeni but from Kenya, they said that they knew someone who’s just like that at AUS (and upon giving further details, I discovered that the Kemeni being talked about is my brother). So basically, summer trips were spent in Kenya and needless to say, I never fit in there as well, because their mentalities are just different. So to deal with the identity crisis, I just kept a diary, which was a friend who literally reflected me. The main point I was telling my friend was that hidden in my diaries were a lot of phrases that people threw casually -yet they hurt at the time – and now I can throw the same phrases at them because it fit their situations (have their words ricochet back to them), but I usually don’t because I’m just not like that. But it’s good to know that there’s a record somewhere, just in case, just in case *evil laugh*.

Back to the topic of this post, another type of phrase that could hurt people are lies. Sweet lies, grey lies, silly lies….whatever adjective one tries to add before the term; liars degrade others so much by implying that they’re not worthy of the truth. Unfortunately in our society one hears cases where men go around marrying second wives and when they are confronted, they lie about it. It’s something I never understood because;

a – when the truth comes out, it’s going to hurt more than it already does, because not only is the guy a cheater, but also a liar,

b- lying about it is very cowardly because the liar tries to avoid confrontation by burying his hand in the sand,

c-it’s simply disrespectful, if someone shared the past (put-time-span-of-marriage- here) years of their lives with this guy, then the least that she deserves is the truth.

There’s a quote that goes; “The truth hurts a little while, but lies hurt forever.”

So seriously, people, we need to measure our words before we speak them because we never know who out there could misinterpret them or get hurt by them. Remember that the written word can be erased, but not the spoken word. This is a reminder to myself first just in case I forgot.

Hadeeth of the Day; 

Narrated ‘Abdullah (RadhiAllahu ‘anhu): The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) said: ”Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. And a man keeps on telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person. Falsehood leads to Al-Fajur (i.e. wickedness, evil-doing), and Al-Fajur leads to the (Hell) Fire, and a man may keep on telling lies till he is written before Allah, a liar.”

[Sahih Bukhari -Book 73: Hadith 116]

Multiply Your Rewards

If someone told you that tomorrow you would be given the opportunity to double your salary, but you have to stay awake tonight to know how, would you even blink tonight? Even if you start feeling sleepy you’d iv the strongest coffee into your blood system, get yourself an energy drink, swallow energy bars, and maybe even keep your eyes open with clothes pegs.

Now where is this enthusiasm when you’re told to seek a night that is better than a thousand months; Laylat-ul-Qadar.

the Prophet (peace and blessings of Allaah be upon him) said: “Whoever spends the night of Laylat al-Qadr in prayer out of faith and in hope of reward, his previous sins will be forgiven.” (Narrated by al-Bukhaari, 1901; Muslim, 760).

قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم: مَنْ قَامَ لَيْلَةَ الْقَدْرِ إِيمَانًا وَاحْتِسَابًا غُفِرَ لَهُ مَا تَقَدَّمَ مِنْ ذَنْبِهِ

So when is Lailat-ul-Qadr?

The Messenger of Allah (peace and blessings of Allah be upon him) said: “Seek it (Lailat-ul-Qadr) in the last ten (nights). If one of you shows slackness in the earlier part of Ramadan, let it not be weak to observe the last seven.”

“التمسوها في العشر الأواخر، فإن ضعف أحدكم أوعجز فلا يغلبن على السبع البواقي”. [Bukhari 2015, Muslim 1165]

So what do you do during the last ten nights?

The nights are long so don’t shorten them with excessive sleep. Fill your time with doing all sorts of good deeds;

1) The five obligatory prayers

2) Qiyyam ul-leil (or livening your nights with prayers).

3) Du’aa, especially saying;   اللهم إنك عفو تحب العفو فاعف عني

Allahumma innaka ‘affuwwun tuhibbul ‘afwa fa’fu ‘anni’ “

Meaning of the duaa is; O Allah You are The One Who pardons greatly, and loves to pardon, so pardon me.

Hadeeth where this duaa is mentioned;

Aisha radhiya Allahu `anha, that she said: “O Messenger of Allah! What if I knew which night Lailatul-Qadr was, then what should I say in it?” He said.- “Say.- (Allahumma innaka ‘affuwwun tuhibbul ‘afwa fa’fu ‘annee.)

فعن عائشة رضي الله عنها أنها قالت للنبي صلى الله عليه وسلم: “أرأيتَ إن وفقت ليلة القدر، ما أقول فيها؟ قال: قولي: اللهم إنك عفو تحب العفو فاعف عني

“

4) Performing I’tikaf; that means to seclude yourself in the masjid and put all your worldly matters aside. Check a proper source for how to do i’tikaf

5) Give out charity, and help in feeding other fasting Muslims to multiply your ajr insha’Allah. Just make sure you purify your intentions and make it for Allah’s sake.

Keep me in your duaas.

And since this blog is mostly read by females; a common question asked by women only – and its answer  – can be found here; http://islamqa.com/en/ref/26753/laylat%20qadr

and for the first point mentioned in the link, question 2564 (seems to be broken when I try to open it), but this is it; http://islamqa.com/en/ref/2564

Take a few minutes to check out this interesting video; How Merciful is Allah (SWT)

Attitude of Gratitude

Blink.
The first ten nights sprinted by.
Blink.
The next ten zoomed by.
And before we know it, the last ten days would have flown by in’shAllah.
Time is traveling so fast nowadays. The mid-ten days of Ramadan saw people relax a bit since the enthusiasm at the beginning of Ramadan began to burn out. But I hope any relaxation is only to recharge for the last ten nights.

I’ll probably post another note on Laylat-Ul-Qadr, but today I want to highlight an important thing; developing an attitude of gratitude in our lives. Think about it, we complain a lot in life. We complain about the weather and the traffic. We complain about the people in our lives. If there ever was a Barometer to measure the number of complaints in the atmosphere, it would probably blow up because of the collective complaining that we do as a society.

So it’s essential to develop an attitude of gratitude and make it our default state; during Ramadan and after Ramadan. It would work as a fortress against the Complaints pollution that we are surrounded by.

A few tips are as follows;

1) Start a gratitude journal – you can call it the “Alhamdullilah” journal. The concept has been around for quite some time, but it’s worth spreading. Your journal can be a physical notebook or virtual (the Evernote application on a smartphone), but the idea is to spend as little as five minutes a day recording the things that you appreciate in your life. Trust me, there are a lot of things that you should be grateful for.

2) Spread the gratitude attitude. Whenever somebody complains around you, don’t go with the normal, “I know. It’s sooo annoying.” Instead, respond with, “But look at the bright side. It’s better than…” Let them call you the “But Look at the Bright Side” person. It’s a label worth having.

3) Keep your tongue in a state of dhikr, continuously stating, “الحمد لله” when something good happens or “الحمد لله على كل حال” otherwise. Also remember (اللهم ما أصبح بي من نعمة أو بأحد من خلقك، فمنك وحدك لا شريك لك ، فلك الحمد والشكر), and, (اللهم إني أعوذ بك من زوال نعمتك ، وتحول عافيتك ، وفجأة نقمتك ، وجميع سخطك)

And the best thing is once you start working consciously on developing such an attitude, it becomes second-nature very quickly because there are just so much that we should be grateful for.

Hadeeth of the Day

عن عائشة رضي الله عنها قالت: (كان النبي صلى الله علية وسلم يقوم من الليل حتى تتفطر قدماه فقلت له : لم تصنع هذا يا رسول الله وقد غفر لك ما تقدم من ذنبك وما تأخر ؟ قال : أفلا أكون عبداً شكوراً؟) متفق عليه

The Prophet (peace be upon him) used to pray so much that his feet used to become edematous or swollen, and when he was asked as to why he prays so much, he would say, “Shall I not be a thankful slave (to Allah)?”

[Bukhari, Book 8, Volume 76, Hadith 478]

All images from various Facebook groups

In The Blink of an Eye

Change. It’s inevitable. As an engineer, I always say that one of the main k’s in life is delta *

Yesterday I was watching Khawater 8 and Ahmad AlShugairi was demonstrating the challenges of the wheelchair bound. He recorded the episode from a sort of training center that teaches wheelchair-bound people to manage their lives independently in the face of common challenges; i.e. how to go up the stairs, and how to move onto the pavement when it is not inclined, how to take things from a high place. His message; integrate a similar training program into all hospitals and make it a standard so that wheelchair-bound patients don’t leave the hospital unless they’ve undergone this training.

Such an episode makes one reflect on how suddenly life can change by the will of Allah (SWT). It’s like that Arabic saying says;

مابين غمضة عين وانتباهتها .. يغير الله من حال إلى حـال

Only a few days back in my post “Importance of Du3aa” we spoke about how a prisoner in Egypt became president and how a president became a prisoner. When we hear that a person next door was faced with hardships, we fall into the false thinking that we are somehow safe from it. So when we are faced with such challenges, they tend to take us by surprise, sometimes knocking the breath out of us. Yet we are taught in Islam to view difficulties and hardships under a different light. Hardships occur to test our patience and expiate some of our sins.

Abu Sa`id and Abu Hurairah (May Allah be pleased with them) reported that the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “No fatigue, nor disease, nor anxiety, nor sadness, nor hurt, nor distress befalls a Muslim, even if it were the prick he receives from a thorn, but that Allah expiates some of his sins for that” (Al-Bukhari and Muslim).

قال رسول الله -صلى الله عليه وسلم-: (ما أصاب المؤمن من هم ولا غم ولا حزن؛ حتى الشوكة يشاكها إلا كفر الله من خطاياه)

In another Hadeeth, the the Prophet (peace and blessings be upon him) said, “Whoever is pleased that Allah answers his prayers during hardships and difficulties let him make much supplication during times of ease.” – (at‐Tirmidhi)

وقال : ( من سره أن يستجيب الله له عند الشدائد والكُرَب فليكثر الدعاء في الرخاء ) رواه الترمذي 

 So when things change in the blink of an eye, remember that it is a test for patience, and also remember to add “Make duaa a daily habit” to your In-sha’Allah list. Finally, don’t forget me in your duaa’s!

 

 

*(for non-engineers, k is a common notation for “constant:, and delta is a common one to mean “Change”).

Iftar Table and Paradox of Choice

Our Iftar table seems to be a manifestation of Barry Schwartz idea of paradox of choice; how having more options increases a consumer’s level of anxiety.
Think about it. Enter the typical Arab kitchen during Ramadan and ask the mother, “So what are you cooking?”
“Nothing much. Only five dishes.”
Only???
Sometimes when you look at the food on the table and look down at your stomach, there’s an incredulity that you have to fill that (stomach) with that ?
I have to say that it’s not that I am not grateful for the blessing of having a variety of food to select from. But the thing is, after the “attack”ing process, one feels really bloated and too lazy to finish taraweeh prayer.
I don’t know exactly what happens in the kitchen when something is added to the to-be-cooked list but maybe the extra cooking is just a reflection of the hunger. You know how they say, don’t shop when you’re hungry because you’ll end up buying more stuff than you actually need? So my theory is, don’t decide on what to cook when you’re hungry because the menu will just go overboard…and notice I said, “don’t decide” not “don’t cook” when you are hungry because cooking while hungry is sorta inevitable. But it’s easier to set up tomorrow’s menu after Iftar and stick to the menu while stamping on the temptation to “add that one thing” and “add that other thing”.
Isn’t this the month of curbing temptations after all?

Today’s advise; Say no to Israaf.
Have a lovely day!

Importance of Du3aa

In his lecture, “Man Yad3ooni” sheikh Mohammad Al3reify speaks about the importance of du3aa, and how we need to include it in our lives all the time.

He encourages people to ask Allah (SWT) for anything and not limit ourselves because our minds can’t figure out how we’d get our wishes granted. What we deem as “impossible” and “unimaginable” could happen. Only recently we witnessed how ex-president-of-Egypt Hosny Mubarak went from president-to-prisoner, while Mohamed Morsi went from prisoner-to-president.

Sheikh Al3reify also says that the problem with us is that we only use this tool when we want something, or we’re in trouble. When all things are going well, we refrain from making du3aa and asking Allah (SWT) to maintain our state of wellbeing. He reminds us that life can take a turn to the worse in an instant, and not to wait for that instant to start raising our hands to the sky and calling out, “Ya Rab.”

I hope you’ll enjoy the lesson which can be found here; http://ar.m.islamway.com/lesson/93386

or more directly http://download.media.islamway.net/lessons/3refi/265_Al3arefi_Yad3oni.mp3

Hadeeth of the Day

عن أبي هريرة رضي الله عنه عن النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم قال: ((لا يزال يستجاب للعبد ما لم يدع بإثم أو قطيعة رحم، ما لم يستعجل)). قيل: يا رسول الله، ما الاستعجال؟ قال: يقول: قد دعوت، وقد دعوت، فلم أر يستجيب لي، فيستحسر عند ذلك، ويدع الدعاء)) – رواه مسلم في الذكر والدعاء (
2735

Abu Hurairah – رضي الله عنه – narrated that the Prophet – صلى الله عليه وسلم – said: “The invocation of anyone of you is granted if it does not involve a sin or relatives and womb relationship abandonment. And if he does not show impatience by saying, ‘I invoked Allah but my request has not been granted,’ and feels desperate and invokes no more.”

Fast and Furious During Ramadan?

As the time for iftar approaches, the roads are nearly empty. Nearly. Maybe that’s why whoever is still on the road thinks he has the right to speed and break other road rules in order to reach his Iftar table on time.
But trust me, the food isn’t going anywhere, so slow down.
I’m happy to see that adnoc has taken an active role in spreading awareness about crazy driving in Ramadan. It put up an ad that talks about the issue and announces that when it calls for maghrib athan and you’re on the road, you can drive to the closest adnoc petrol station and you’ll be given dates to break your fast with. Now that’s what I call a socially responsible petrol station.
Are you surprised the accompanying shop is called an “oasis”?