How many people throw out phrases casually without knowing the effect that they have on others? Think about the married woman who’s fighting a weight problem, and someone casually says, “Congratulations! You’re pregnant!” Or when someone is being bullied at school just because they are a bit different, or a bit sensitive. I remember once when I was in school (back in the lower grades) some of the kids used to make fun of me when I ate brown bread saying, “You’re eating bread that’s the same color as your skin.”
Yup, simple phrases could cut so deep that people end up carrying the scars forever. So the other day, I was discussing with a friend about my journaling habits.
Some of my diaries throughout the years (I emphasize on the word ‘some’)
I explained that going through school was a lonely process because I never fit in with the crowd. I can’t remember having a Kemeni friend at school ever (my brothers don’t count). Funny enough, someone reading my blog from AUS sent me a question the other day, “Where are you from?” When I explained I’m originally Yemeni but from Kenya, they said that they knew someone who’s just like that at AUS (and upon giving further details, I discovered that the Kemeni being talked about is my brother). So basically, summer trips were spent in Kenya and needless to say, I never fit in there as well, because their mentalities are just different. So to deal with the identity crisis, I just kept a diary, which was a friend who literally reflected me. The main point I was telling my friend was that hidden in my diaries were a lot of phrases that people threw casually -yet they hurt at the time – and now I can throw the same phrases at them because it fit their situations (have their words ricochet back to them), but I usually don’t because I’m just not like that. But it’s good to know that there’s a record somewhere, just in case, just in case *evil laugh*.
Back to the topic of this post, another type of phrase that could hurt people are lies. Sweet lies, grey lies, silly lies….whatever adjective one tries to add before the term; liars degrade others so much by implying that they’re not worthy of the truth. Unfortunately in our society one hears cases where men go around marrying second wives and when they are confronted, they lie about it. It’s something I never understood because;
a – when the truth comes out, it’s going to hurt more than it already does, because not only is the guy a cheater, but also a liar,
b- lying about it is very cowardly because the liar tries to avoid confrontation by burying his hand in the sand,
c-it’s simply disrespectful, if someone shared the past (put-time-span-of-marriage- here) years of their lives with this guy, then the least that she deserves is the truth.
There’s a quote that goes; “The truth hurts a little while, but lies hurt forever.”
So seriously, people, we need to measure our words before we speak them because we never know who out there could misinterpret them or get hurt by them. Remember that the written word can be erased, but not the spoken word. This is a reminder to myself first just in case I forgot.
Hadeeth of the Day;
Narrated ‘Abdullah (RadhiAllahu ‘anhu): The Prophet (salAllahu alayhi wa sallam) said: ”Truthfulness leads to righteousness, and righteousness leads to Paradise. And a man keeps on telling the truth until he becomes a truthful person. Falsehood leads to Al-Fajur (i.e. wickedness, evil-doing), and Al-Fajur leads to the (Hell) Fire, and a man may keep on telling lies till he is written before Allah, a liar.”
[Sahih Bukhari -Book 73: Hadith 116]