So I’ve been doing some research for one of my story, and I was trying to recapture how life was in 2001, since that was when the story began. So I figured, what better way to do that than to retrieve one of my diaries, and voila! I skimmed through a few pages, I just couldn’t get myself to read slowly because it’s just painful going through a fifteen year old’s rambling diary about over-dramatic you-might-think it-was-apocalyptic friendship problems. I also found the entry on Sep/11.
It’s quite interesting though, keeping a record of some of the silly stuff because they highlight deeper issues. For instance, take a storyline that’s so common it’s almost cliche. A tells me something about B but tells me to keep it to myself, then while arguing with B, I get so angry I say something like “I know about the XYZ story”. That freezes B who tells me, “Who told you?” But then it doesn’t take detective work to figure it out because there are only three other people who know and apparently the version that I got from A is different from the version the others have, so B figures out it was A. Later on, A and B get into a fight, which I suspect but I made A promise not to tell B it was me who let the secret out, but then in the heat of the moment, my name accidentally slipped out, and the whole thing “exploded”.
Going through it now, it seems silly, but it highlights an important topic…”Trust”. Personally I’ve always had trust issues maybe because I knew I couldn’t be trusted myself since I had a bad habit of keeping written documentation about….everything. But then having grown up with people like those mentioned in Double Faced, Double Sweet and Losing Your Person, trusting people just becomes harder by the day.
Another thing that helps is the fact that life taught me not to depend so much on people because they have a great tendency to hurt,disappoint, take advantage. So when I decide to trust someone, I tend to take responsibility of trusting them, and trust them at my own risk. If they betray my trust tomorrow, I decide it was my fault, and I’m usually more careful the next time, because human beings are just human beings. In the end, they will make mistakes, so the question is, will you happen to be the person paying the price?
And it’s funny how the people I trust are those who are mostly introverts, and they move in different circles. By ‘different’ I mean their normal social circles are geographically different – sometimes in different continents – so even if they know something about me and tell it to a third person,the third person normally has no clue who I am anyway, so it’s just a random story about a random person being told to another random person.
But they say that trust is an important building block for meaningful relationships. The moment somebody trusts another with their hearts, they become highly vulnerable. It becomes a risk. So with just any high-risk venture, deciding whether to trust somebody with something – or not – should be carefully studied with their mind, and girls especially shouldn’t let their emotions get the best of them. Trust is also pretty known to be fragile. Like a vase, the moment trust is broken, one can attempt to glue the pieces together all they want but it will never be the same again.