Losing Your Person

So I was reading a post where the blogger was describing their person, and the question posed was “Who’s your person?”

It got me thinking about those people I could really define as “my person” in life, and I realized that I’ve lost most – if not all of them. They’re still in my life but not in the position of ‘my person’ anymore. I define ‘my person’ as that who knows so much about my life’s experiences because they were there next to me when things happened.

So my first person was someone who I graduated high school with. Funny enough how at the beginning I used to dislike her because she did something to embarrass me in class, and it was one of the first times that I really understood the phrase I used to read in books about “wishing the earth would just open up underneath and swallow you”.

We went on to become the best of friends until tomorrow, even though after high school we separated as she went to study in another country and now she’s working in -yet another- country. However she makes it to the UAE once or twice per year and during these days my parents know not to enforce my 6 pm curfew because ‘my person’ was in town. If the title ‘my person’ would go to one person it would definitely be her because if there is anyone who could write a book about my life and the changes I’ve been through it would be her. She’s seen the good and the bad.

Then in university, I shared most of my experiences with someone else. We used to be in the same dorm block, we used to take the same classes,  work together in the lab, have lunches/dinners together…four years later she got married, moved to another country and lost touch. A couple of times we exchanged personal emails. Sometimes I’d got a forward from her. But that was it. And it was sad to think how easy it was to suddenly lose your person….

Then at work, I had another girl who was ‘my person.’ We shared daily reports, had lunch together, spoke continuously over the phone when it got pretty boring around the office. Two years later, we separated when we both resigned and even though she’s in Sharjah, we rarely meet anymore. But she’s still someone who if I talk to, I could trust with everything. It’s just that circumstances had taken us apart. Otherwise, she’d still be ‘my person’.

Then in MI I had someone who was older than me by a year. We used to go to Caribou at 3 pm to talk since she was from another lab. Sometimes we’d have lunch together but then she got a job in Dubai and had to leave last month. And yet another person…gone.

Then finally, there’s my brother who’s three years my senior. And he’s always been ‘my person.’ He’s also been my backup person when I had no persons. We’d have endless discussions sometimes and many of our phone conversations would only end if either phone ran out of charge or credit.But since he got married, we’ve been drifting apart and you can guess the rest of the story.

So I realize that I am not exactly the best person to be talking about ‘my person’ because I end up losing them for one reason or another.

So my current person is not even a person. It’s a pen, a diary and a a cup of steaming, aromatic coffee, because I’m done getting attached to people who end up leaving.

Quote of the day; “You can’t lose what you never had. You can’t keep what’s not yours and you can’t hold onto something that doesn’t want to stay.”