Feel like a loser?

Sometimes you may be frustrated with your mediocre life and you might tell yourself, I just want to achieve something in this world. I don’t want to be a loser, an underachiever…I want to be extraordinary.

The problem with us is that we define success in terms of all kinds of materialistic things, so a successful person may drive a certain kind of car, keep a certain standard of living, etc… etc…etc….but there’s a cheap way to make that your life is worthwhile without having to take the conventional route.

Make a difference in someone’s life. Most probably a person who can never pay you back. Think about it. Make it sincere for Allah’s sake. Select this person, decide to help them in any way possible, then forget about it and never look back. How many of us have grown up believing that the idea of charity starts and ends in signing a cheque or giving out money. but how many of us actually think of giving out time for some sort of cause. Help a kid do their homework. Visit an old woman in the family just for a chat. Make tea for your mom. Think simple.

The other day one of my brothers said that when they get really stressed out before an exam or something, they go to the mini-mart, buy a bag of sweets/chocolates, and distributes them to random people around campus. So maybe his grades are not exactly the best, but he does win a lot of friends this way. I guess, that’s my say for today.

Quote of the Day;

Quote from Pay It Forward: “You see, I do something real good for three people. And then when they ask how they can pay it back, I say they have to Pay It Forward. To three more people. Each. So nine people get helped. Then those people have to do twenty-seven.” He turned on the calculator, punched in a few numbers. “Then it sort of spreads out, see. To eighty-one. Then two hundred forty-three. Then seven hundred twenty-nine. Then two thousand, one hundred eighty-seven. See how big it gets?”

Hadeeth of the day:

عن ابي هريره رضي الله عنه قال قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم:
(سبعه يظلهم الله في ظله
يوم لا ظل الا ظله,امام عادل , وشاب نشأ في عباده الله عز وجل , ورجل قلبه معلق بالمسجد ,
ورجلان تحابا في الله اجتمعا عليه وتفرقا عليه , ورجل ذكر الله خالياً ففاضت عيناه , ورجل
دعته امرأه ذات منصب وجمال فقال إني اخاف الله , دعته امرأه ذات منصب وجمال فقال إني
اخاف الله , ورجل تصدق بصدقه فأخفاها حتى لاتعلم شماله ما تنفق يمينه ) .
متفق عليه.

[1]

The Prophet said:

There are seven whom Allaah will shade in His Shade on the Day when there is no shade except His Shade: a just ruler; a youth who grew up in the worship of Allaah, the Mighty and Majestic; a man whose heart is attached to the mosques; two men who love each other for Allaah’s sake, meeting for that and parting upon that; a man who is called by a woman of beauty and position [for illegal intercourse], but be says: ‘I fear Allaah’, a man who gives in charity and hides it, such that his left hand does not know what his right hand gives in charity; and a man who remembered Allaah in private and so his eyes shed tears.’ Narrated by Abu Hurairah & collected in Saheeh al-Bukhari (english trans.) vol.1, p.356, no.629 & Saheeh Muslim (english trans.) vol.2, p.493, no.2248 [2]

Arabic quote of the day

من اراد زاداً فالتقوى تكفيه

من اراد عزاً فالاسلام يكفيه
من اراد عدلاً فحكم الله يكفيه
من اراد انيساً فذكر الله يكفيه
من اراد جليساً فالقران يكفيه
من اراد واعظاً فالموت يكفيه
من اراد غنى فالقناعه تكفيه
من اراد زينه فالعلم يكفيه
من اراد جمالاً فالاخلاق تكفيه
من اراد راحه فالاخره تكفيه
من لم يكفيه كل هذا
فالنار تكفيه……

[1] http://www.al-wfa.com/vb/t8352.html

[2] http://www.jannah.org/articles/intheshade.html


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Violence- As Seen On TV

So the other day I sat watching a documentary on Columbine High School shooting that happened in 1999. The documentary had reconstruction of the actual event, and the acting was so realistic and horrifying (It was definitely not a good idea to watch it at midnight). The teens were heavily armed, and they targeted their victims with such accuracy that made people question; how did they learn to shoot with such accuracy?

One guess could be; video games.

The thing is, pictures of violence nowadays has become so common as we are bombarded daily with videos and images on the news – let alone movies and other sources of ‘entertainment.’ So I sat thinking that maybe those disturbed kids who decided to shoot up the school where living in a sorta of messed up reality where they thought that life was nothing but a big screen TV movie and they can go and shoot up people to become celebrities.

I was also thinking that maybe those kids were innocent children one day who played with building blocks once upon a time. They must have had adorable smiles like any kid at the age of three, and might have had the non-contained energy of toddlers whose definition of fun is playing in the mud, so when did they turn into these monsters who instead played in blood.

The other day my brothers and I entered these discussions on whether to allow children to play GTA (Grand Theft Auto) – because it will subconsciously teach them to steal cars….what do you think?

Allahumma adem 3aleina ne3mat al-amn and i7fath shabab wa banat al muslimeen.

Quote of the day; Martin Luther King, Jr. Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.


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A Non-Shopping Trip

So the other day one of my mom’s friend wanted me to go shopping with her daughter. It turned out to be a nice (non-)shopping experience (for me, of course). The girl – about 16 years of age – never asked me to go with her again.

First thing we went to a clothes store, and she picked up this top and started screaming excitedly about how cool it was. Needless to say the whole point of the shopping trip was to get a bag, but that aside…The top had a bow-like thing at the neck. I said, “Yeah, it looks perfect. Only thing missing would be green hair and painted face, have it colored a bit and you’ll look like a clown.”

Needless to say, she put it back.

Then we went to this other store where she picked up a bag. “What do you think?”

“I don’t know why you would pay for that. If you really wanted a potato sack, you could get one from the vegetables store. It comes complete with potatoes…or would an onion sack be perfect?” (The bag did look like a potato sack by the way). Back it went.

We went to another store, and she picked up a bag. This one was genuinely nice except for, “The color. It looks as though it was white once upon a time and then it got dirtied due to too much use….”

The result of the trip; she bought nothing.

Upon relating the story to my brother he said her mom should love me for making her daughter not buy anything. He also suggested that I offer my non-shopping-assistance services to parents with annoying adolescents who end up buying things they don’t need. In that case I would charge a 100 dirhams per hour (you get a complete refund if the person buys something).

That’s today’s scoop.

AH

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My Green Books

So I just discovered with much horror, that I have something in common with Muammar Al Qaddafi. Not only do I have a green book that gives me company. I have more than one!

My duaa book

My Personal Diary

Even my post-it notes are green!

Post-It Notes

*Scream*

Quote of the day:

If we all threw our problems in a pile and saw everyone else’s, we’d grab ours back.

Hadeeth of the Day:
The Prophet (صلى الله عليه وسلم) said, “Verily your Lord is Shy and Generous. He is Shy that the servant would stretch out his hands (in du’a) to Him and He would return them empty.” (Abu Dawood and Ibn Maajah from Salmaan. Graded Hasan by Albaanee in Saheeh ul-Jaami’, 2070)
يقول المصطفى عليه الصلاة والسلام : ((إن الله حيي كريم يستحي من عبده، إذا رفع يديه إليه أن يردهما صفرا))(رواه أبو داوود


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Random thoughts-masdar institute

If you sleep during a meeting with your advisor would it reflect negatively on you. I mean it could just mean that you had stayed up all night working on your thesis, so he should give you some credit. Talking about Masdar Institute, I must admit that I am starting to like coming to campus every morning. I mean there is a difference between being in a place you completely hate and you wouldn’t be there if it were not for the money, and being in a place that you look forward to going to every morning. And I’ve experienced both to know the difference.

It’s funny, having lived in kid-free zones for so long because everybody around us is either our age or older, when you see children you might think, “people come in these sizes too.” Except that I hear on weekends there are children who show up since MI has become a sort of tourist destination. Its like a museum, and we are being showcased. It’s better than the zoo analogy. After all I can’t imagine seeing tourists being told,” And don’t feed the grad students.” or can I?
Talking about university analogies, AUS was likened to a prison by some people . This analogy was emphasized by the lunch lines formed in deli marche where food is plopped onto plates the way they are in prisons.
So I made up this note while driving and was so itching to stop the car and write it down; the pains of a writer. Now I am wondering if I forgot something but if I forgot something would I remember that I forgot it?
Okay I guess this is where it stops.

Quote of the Day; “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”- Maria Robinson

Hadeeth of the day

من كانت الدنيا همه فرق الله عليه أمره وجعل فقره بين عينيه ولم يأته من الدنيا إلا ما كتب له ومن كانت الآخرة نيته جمع الله له أمره وجعل غناه في قلبه وأتته الدنيا وهي راغمة الراوي: زيد بن ثابت المحدث: الألباني – المصدر: صحيح الترغيب – الصفحة أو الرقم: 3168
خلاصة حكم المحدث: صحيح 

One day left to vote for my blog if you haven’t voted yet; http://muslim-women-exposed.blogspot.com/2011/03/tribute-award-voting-is-now-open.html

Random Thoughts – 15 March

-So some people claim that the best feeling one can get is when they fall in love. From my experience, the best feeling is when one writes a Matlab code and have it work from the first trial.

Not that the code I was working on today worked, but I’m just saying.

-Sometimes we have this fleeting moment of joy only to discover that the thing that we were happy about wasn’t going to last. That’s why I’m personally against lavish weddings. Because if a divorce is to take place – God forbid – at least, one doesn’t have to cry over the money thrown over the wedding as well. Cheap and best.

- Sometimes I feel that I’ve spent the better parts of my life running away. Running away from what. Allah a3lam. Maybe my past. But it’s funny, because no matter how much I try to run away, some images from my past are etched on my mind so vividly they might as well have happened yesterday; I’d remember everything from the way the sky looked, to the place I was sitting, to the book I was reading, to the thoughts that crossed my mind at the moment.Some moments are significant, and some are just normal, which makes me wonder why I remember them in the first place.

-As my dad sits in his favorite couch poring over a book, the solitary person that he has become, I realize that his is just a mirror image of my loner personality. Sometimes I used to wonder what made me such a loner, but I look at my dad and I see where it comes from. And this trait was emphasized more by the people I met in my life. There are some who just made me lose faith in people altogether. There’s a quote that says,

“Don’t tell your problems to people: eighty percent don’t care; and the other twenty percent are glad you have them – Lou Holtz.”

I guess that’s it for tonight

Ciao

AH


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I thought I loved him

This is just a figment of my imagination. Dedicated to a friend who went through a divorce some time back.

“I thought I loved him. I really thought I did. But as I watched the woman he was going to marry walk through the doors in her heavy white dress and make-up that made her so ghastly she might as well have auditioned for ‘Twilight’ as one of the vampires, I really wished she would make his life miserable. I really did. Call me cruel, call me mean, call me jealous, call me human. It hit me then that I didn’t love him as much as I thought I had. Otherwise I would have been happy for his happiness, with or without me. Otherwise I would wish him well wherever he was. But I didn’t.

I loved myself more. I looked into my heart and saw a scar where once there was none. What right that he had to make me feel as wasted as I did at that moment? Many women in the hall sat staring at me, whispering among themselves;

“Wamona yule?”(You see that woman?)

“The ex-wife.”

“Mwaka moja tu.” (Just one year)

“Divorced her on their first anniversary. Same date.”

What right did he make to make me fall for him, and then walk away like nothing had happened, ending it before it really began? So I sat there and stared at her for the longest time. As she passed me, she looked at me for a second. She had this look on her face like she knew everything. I’m sure she did. Mombasa was a small town where everybody’s business was everybody’s business. I wondered what was going through her head. Was she asking herself if their love story would last? Or was she thinking of where she’s going to be one year from now? I really wondered.”

That’s it for today.

AH

 

 

Taking Risks and Growing Wings

So a friend of mine is stuck in a dilemma; she’s stuck in a job she doesn’t like and is thinking of shifting careers, and trying something else. A lot of people are telling her not to leave her stable job for something that is uncertain. And she’s confused.

The thing with us is that we love the low-risk-high-return-road. We love the tested-and-tried paths. Why? Because we don’t like to fall and stumble. We like to walk assured. We don’t like to feel the pain of disappointments or taste the pain of failure. Yet as long as we stay in our comfort zone, we tend to become mediocre.

Sometimes it’s important to take some risks. Many people who have succeeded talk of days when they had plummeted so down in the doldrums, they didn’t think there was a way out. Now you might see they’ve got it all – to the envy of those who told them that they won’t make it because their path was not tested and not tried.

I remember a quote from Randy Pausche’s last lecture that says “The brick walls are there to give us a chance to show how badly we want something.” Also there’s the quote that says, “The elevator to success is out of order. You’ll have to use the stairs… one step at a time.” Final quote, “Living at risk is jumping off the cliff and building your wings on the way down.”

If we try something and we fall, at least we learn from the experience and know what to avoid now. I’m talking about taking well-calculated – and not rash – risks. Being Muslims makes it double better for us because we have a tool we can use called Salat il istikhara, the islamic prayer where one asks Allah to guide one to the right thing concerning any affair in one’s life.

And this video wraps up things beautifully;

That’s it for now
AH

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Bringing a Child To This World

Guest blog by Amira J…

Last week one of my cousin had her baby—mabrook to her!! But it got me thinking about having children. If you have read my previous post –baby fever, you know I have been thinking about it. But looking at the media and our world today, it got me thinking do I want to bring a child in this world! For starters a) there so much fitna in this world among Muslims b) if you are in the western countries –its hard raising children and let them conform to Islam c) in addition to the hatred towards Muslim in western world is growing day by day d) even if you go to “home” countries there is poverty and you think how will the children survive.

Just think about it

a) There is so much fitna in our communities today, people judging others, people not following Islam properly, people looking into race, culture and such than on the person’s emaan! There so many issues going on in our Muslim communities that it’s beyond recognizable or fixable. (may Allah guide us to the right path)

b) I think the hardest thing parents face today raising children in the west, is trying to give them a chance to discover themselves but also maintain the teachings and values of Islam. With so many peer pressure from other children, its hard to instill religious values in children and not to create a misunderstanding in the children.

c) Since 9/11 there has been so much hatred towards Muslim in western countries, from USA to UK and other European countries. As more days go by and more anti-Muslim vs. anti-west continue to exist. The problem will persist to a much greater concern and the newer generation will suffer more and struggle between maintaining beliefs and trying to be safe.

d) And then even if you are in the west and the above mentioned are an issue, and decide to go back “home”. With majority of “home” being in the third world countries. A person might think how will I manage to feed my children and put a roof over their heads and still maintain a healthy life. It’s the fear of not being able to feed them and give them a good life.

As life is changing day by day and it is getting worse, I wonder how the new generation will cope with how our generation is making the world worse. I dear hope so, life changes sooner so as to make this world a better place for our future children –inshallah!

You can read the original post on; http://jabry.wordpress.com/2011/03/07/bringing-a-child-in-this-world/


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Random Thoughts-6 March

-I wonder when they’ll start to add Iphone-Angry-Bird-addict/Blackberry-addicts when we fill any  application form.

-When you are about to throw food away think of the people who can barely find food to eat and end up like the person in the last image of “Mombasa Time“

-Vanilla White Mocha is my favorite hot drink

-Something I enjoy is a deep intellectual conversation with a friend over coffee…or vanilla white mocha to be exact

-Growing up, my brother – SH- used to be my best friend. Then that spot was taken by my friend, SH, during our short-lived employment period. Funny enough both people had the same initials. Now that spot is empty. Just check your initials first before applying.

-A friend of mine suggested that I compile true stories of people’s dilemmas and big decisions they’ve made in their lives. Also to write the result of these decisions in the long term; getting married (or not), taking a job (or quitting at a critical stage), continuing education (or not). So if you have something interesting to tell, add it to “What’s Your Story?”

-Don’t you sometimes feel we need a holiday from the weekend because we tire ourselves out so much during the weekend instead of just relaxing.

-Hadeeth of the day;

قَالَ رَسُولُ اللهِ صَلَّى اللَّهُ عَلَيْهِ وَسَلَّمَ : (مَنْ أَصْبَحَ مِنْكُمْ آمِنًا فِي سِرْبِهِ ، مُعَافًى فِي جَسَدِهِ ، عِنْدَهُ قُوتُ يَوْمِهِ ، فَكَأَنَّمَا حِيزَتْ لَهُ الدُّنْيَا)

-Quote of the Day

“I find television very educating. Every time somebody turns on the set, I go into the other room and read a book” – Groucho Marx


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