Thinking About Them

I find myself thinking about them, friends who’ve disappeared in the pages of history. How many of them are happy? How many of them are just faking it? Wearing their smile like pieces of accessories, taking it off when they reach home? How many changes have they seen since we parted? Would we cross paths again or is this it? Are the memories that we may preserve the last of what we have of each other?

I find myself thinking about them, people whom I didn’t really like. Sometimes I wish I can forgot the words of those who hurt but flipping back the pages of history I can’t help but recall, every word, every syllable, every look and every gesture. I wonder where they’re at, and did they find someone to hurt them the way they hurt others?

I find myself thinking about them, nostalgic about the days of yesterday, when it was much easier to say sorry, when goodbye meant see you tomorrow, and take care actually meant take care of yourself, when the biggest loss was losing a sock, when the biggest gain was a teddy bear.

Don’t you wish we can go back to having feelings so pure?

Spiteful words can hurt your feelings but silence breaks your heart. ~Author Unknown

P.S. To justify my excessive blogging these few days – I have an exam on Wednesday en sha Allah and blogging happens to be my perfect de-stressing tool.


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Dare To Begin

Let’s say Egyptian teens said, “Ana mali? Mubarak has been president for 30 years, long before I was born, who am I to change the system?”

Let’s say a writer decides to stare at a white paper for hours and then decide that they have writer’s blocks, so they can’t start.

Let’s say a basketball player had the ball in his hand but was so terrified of losing that they didn’t attempt to shoot at the hoop, and threw the ball, instead, at someone else.

Let’s say a child takes his first step, then falls and cries. What if the child never attempts to stand up again because he’s afraid to get hurt again?

But do children do that? No, they stand up everytime they fall because they know that it’s part of the learning process.

So maybe we need to face our fears in the face, and throw that ball, write those words, or take a stand. Because if we don’t do it now, when will we do it? Look at your life and search for that one thing that you’ve always been procrastinating, hoping you’ll begin one day, when you have enough time, and make a decision to just jump right in, and dare to begin.

Today’s quotes

Success isn’t a result of spontaneous combustion.  You must set yourself on fire.  ~Arnold H. Glasow

“don’t ever let somebody tell you
you can’t do something
not even me
alright?.
you got a dream
you gotta protect it
people can’t do something themselves
they wanna tell you you can’t do it
if you want something
go get it, period.”

from Chris Gardner
The Pursuit Of Happyness

If you want to make your dreams come true, the first thing you have to do is wake up.  ~J.M. Power

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A Small Thinking Game

Let’s play a little game. I’m not spoonfeeding you anything today, but will give you something to think about and discuss in the comments below.

WARNING: If you are not used to thinking then stop reading right now

scenario
Professor: “I know I would have been happier if I grew up to be a painter.”
Boy: “Then why didn’t you become a painter?”
Professor: “Well, I came from a practical family, and was raised to work hard in whatever I do, went through school, worked hard and ended up a professor.”
Boy: “So do you have any regrets?”
Professor: “Not really. When you sacrifice what makes you happy to benefit others, this sacrifice will become your new source of joy.”
Do you agree or disagree?

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Libya oh Libya

It’s the turn of Libyans to protest against Qaddafi and Qaddafi seems to blame things other than himself -from hallucination pills to Al-Qaeda – for the protests. The massacres happening there make one speechless, and make Egyptians think that their leader wasn’t so bad after all. Since today is Friday – and the other Arab tyrants fell on Friday – let’s just intensify our duaas for our Libyan brothers.Thinking about it differently, if he falls, we’ll miss the jokes and videos that are coming out because of him. Or maybe not.

Image of Libyan flag from http://egyptianchronicles.blogspot.com/2011/02/omar-al-mokhtar-grandchildren-revolt.html

Saturation Limit

So I was trying to read into some multiphase flow in porous medium stuff, and I read the word “saturation” so much that I feel saturated myself. So the other day my friend and I were discussing; why is studying boring? I mean, seriously, I love reading and knowing stuff but books are written in such an unfascinating way that they might be used as medication for insomnia. It’s like there are some topics that might be interesting, or have the potential to be interesting, but they always come in the wrong package.

Why can’t someone make an animated movie out of engineering courses, where there’s funny dialogue intermixed with useful knowledge?

For instance, I was reading on a phenomenon called imbibition. The text stated that imbibition is the displacement of a non-wetting fluid by a wetting fluid…yada..yada…yada…just jeebuha min ila5er and tell us that there’s an easier way to remember imbibition;

Then there were two sentences that went like; a) when wetting fluid intrudes into pore space saturated with non-wetting fluid, it occupies the smaller pore spaces first.

b) When pressure is released from a porous media saturated with non-wetting fluid, it will first leave the smaller pores first.

Yada…yada…yada…conclusion; non-wetting hates – abhors, despises – small pores and will find anyway to get out of them.

Okay, this is too technical, but I’m truly saturated and needed a venting break.

Ciao

Quote of the Day

“I know what I should love to do–to build a study; to write, and to think of nothing else. I want to bury myself in a den of books. I want to saturate myself with the elements of which they are made, and breathe their atmosphere until I am of it. Not a bookworm, being which is to give off no utterances; but a man in the world of writing–one with a pen that shall stop men to listen to it, whether they wish to or not.” – Lew Wallace

Funny this quote has the word “saturate” as well

Post of The Day

What’s Your Story?

So I have some work to do (some??) before I go to bed, which -naturally- explains why I’m on my blog right now. But I’m not here to blog. I’m not here to rant. I’m not here to do anything but make a teeny, tiny request.

A lot of us have stories to tell. Even the people who seem the quietest (or maybe I need to rephrase that to “especially the people who seem the quietest”). I know because a lot of people tell me their stories and that used to make me wonder why why they do it. Maybe they think that telling their stories to a writer would get them their 15 minutes of ‘fame’ especially when I turn that story into something or the other, because it’s well known that a lot of my stories are inspired by real life scenarios. It’s not about my lack of creativity as much as my belief that the real deal makes a better story than fiction sometimes.

But I’ve heard many stories in my life. And there are personal stories that reached me from acquaintances who admitted that, “I don’t know why I’m telling you this but I just started typing and couldn’t stop.” But there are times when I tell myself that I was meant to hear that story because I needed to hear it in that point of my life.

So today I’m requesting you to share your story; a life-altering story that happened to you, a moment of change, a moment of transformation in your life. Something that will touch our hearts. Something that we’ll learn from. Something that might make us laugh, smile or cry.

Anonymity is allowed as you can easily put a fake email address in the comment box below.  Also note that there’s a word limit in the comment – I think, but I’ve never tried so try to divide your story into different comments. But my request is for you to speak up. Even if you are not particularly good in writing in English, you can contribute in Arabic…just share your story.You never know who you might be inspired, whose life you might change….you seriously never know.

And if you seriously have nothing to say, then at least share your favorite quote.

Waiting.

Regards

AH


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Final Goodbye

This is an excerpt from an imaginary story I wrote once during uni titled “From Sarah With Pain”,edited to fit a note.

Dear QYZ,

Saying goodbye has never been easy. There came a time in my life when I felt as though avoiding farewell was better than expressing it, but that brought about new meanings for pain. At night, sleep evades me and in the morning thoughts of you haunt me. I feel as though just because I did not say goodbye, then it is still not goodbye. And yet, it has been goodbye for a while. All I had to do was face it and learn to accept it.

I do not know how to start; how do you say goodbye to a person who helped mold you into who you are? How do you say goodbye when your train of thoughts goes down the same track that they showed you? How do you pretend to delete a number from your phone when you know that you’ll never be able to delete it from your heart? How do you say goodbye when you are caught up in the fantasy that it might just not be the final goodbye?

I don’t know where the story began. I am not sure it even did. Sometimes I wonder if you were real or just a character I made up. I remember once you told me, “Nobody can ever know the real me.”

Now I understand what you meant. The real you never existed. You’re so used to wearing masks, playing different roles with different people, that it seems even you can’t recognize yourself. I don’t know why I am destined to be a loser in this game, but I guess this is what I get for being too ambitious in a society that was not ready to accept women like me yet.

So I guess this is it. Today I pack my bag, and leave everything behind. I have it in my hand – the key out of my misery. I feel its texture slowly, then clutch it, willing my soul to scream, “No!” But all that I hear is silence. My soul does not resist. I guess it understands more than I do that I need to do this. It understands why I need to do this.

I guess it’s written that I shall always be a solitary wanderer; always a stranger among my own people; always in search for a place to call home. But is home really a place? Maybe home is not a place, but an idea, fabricated by the restless; an idea that found many people who would romanticize about it, and carry the dream about their trip back home to the graveyard. As for me, my trip back ‘home’ turned out to be a mess, but now I understand what you told me once about how there is always an order in mess. So I guess this is it, I’m saying it now so I could sleep at night. I’m saying it now so I can find some peace. I’m saying it now, because I really mean it. Goodbye.

P.S. What do you think she has in her hands, when she says, “ I have it in my hand – the key out of my misery.”?

Picture from http://sanalogy.net/ who runs Qamrah Photography on Facebook

Egypt is Finally Free

“First they ignore you, then they laugh at you, then they fight you, then you win.”- Ghandi

Today the sun peeked over the horizon of a new Egypt…a Mubarak-free Egypt…a hopeful Egypt…a changed Egypt… After 18 days of protests initiated on Facebook and Twitter, the Egyptian President finally stepped down as per the demands of the people. He ruled Egypt for 30 years with a tight fist, and his family seems to have garnered fortune worth 70 billion dollars. With 70 million people in Egypt, it’s as though Mubarak’s family has 1000$ per person in Egypt, yet 18 % of the Egyptian people live under 2 dollars per day (annually, that’s 730$ per year).

No wonder he hung onto his chair for so long.

According to a joke going around, now it seems the Egyptian people will make sure that the presidential chair is made of Tefal so that the next president does not stick.

So that’s two  Arab presidents down. On 14 Jan Ben Ali stepped down, and on 11 Feb Mubarak stepped down, so when’s the next Arab revolution? 8 March?

3o2bal ta7reer Palestine.

2011 began with a bang and we’re waiting for the day to unfold. It seems to be the year of change. I wonder if the people who made Twitter and Facebook thought that one day these social media platforms will be used to revolutionize the Arab world? According to his Twitter feed (Twitter has become a news source nowadays), Wael Ghoneim is planning to write a book called Revolution 2.0, which my brother suggested should be titled Revolution 2.11 (cz of the date).

There’s no way of telling what happens next.

But one thing is certain,we certainly need a break from the news for the next few weeks to catch up on our studies and research.

That’s it for now. Mabrook for the Mubarak-less Egypt and I need to share the message to the Egyptian people that’s spreading on Facebook, “From today, this country has become truly yours- don’t throw litter, don’t commit traffic violations, don’t pay bribes, don’t forge documents! Report authorities that do not fulfill their duties. this is your opportunity to build your country with your own hands.”

Ciao


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Running for Your Life?

She was one of the most productive AUS students I’ve ever met. I used to be amazed by her incredible time management skills. She was always as busy as a bee; multi-tasked whenever she could. I met her a lot in the gym, running in the treadmill next to mine. The effort that she put as she ran always made it seem as though she was running for her life.

Until one day I discovered that she was.

She had a tumor.

And suddenly a lot of things made sense; how she never wasted a single moment. Maybe she thought that the next moment might just be her last.

A few days back we got news that my mom’s friend’s brother passed away. This man had two brothers, both of whom had health issues. So when news spread that ABC’s brother passed away, many people thought it was one of the two brothers with health issues. But it wasn’t?

In another incident, I went to one of my friend’s dorm room. She opened the door wearing her prayer clothes and she asked me, “You didn’t hear?”

The distraught look she had made me guess that someone had passed away. I didn’t expect it was one of our colleague;  girl who was supposed to graduate that semester.

Why do we keep on thinking that we are going to have all the time in the world?  A lot of people have their lives figured out; they’ll enjoy their lives during their youth, then go to Hajj when they’re old and dedicate themselves to religious obligations.

But the fact remains that death knows no age.

So are you running for your life?

But the question is; where are you going?

This is a reminder to myself first.

Allahumma ir7am amwat al muslimeen

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