Sharing Is Caring

So today’s post is a really simple assignment, where you are invited to share my posts with friends who preferably have no clue about this blog. The reason is simply because I have to hit a certain statistics target for January, and there are only a couple of days left.

So, if you know someone who’s trying to battle boredom in the office, you can share “When Time Doesn’t Pass”. Or if you know someone who just graduated, you can share Reflections on Graduation Day. You can make people appreciate what they have by sharing Blessings We Take For Granted Part 1. Alternatively, you can classify your school mates by checking out Students Classified. Or you can classify your work colleagues by going through Work Colleagues Classified. For a good laugh, you can check out; Overheard at AUS. Or you can open Draw a Heart for a nerdy way of drawing a heart using matlab.

If someone has wronged you and you need inspiration to forgive them, you can check When Will We Learn To Forgive, and If Tomorrow Never Comes(Si Mañana Nunca Llega). Or if you know someone who’s getting married soon you can share “But It’s just One Day”.

You can share by clicking on the Share button below each post that gives you the option of sharing through email, twitter, facebook, linked in, google buzz.

Or you can just share this post.

Quote of The Day;

A couple of hundred years ago, Benjamin Franklin shared with the world the secret of his success. “Never leave that till tomorrow,” he said, “Which you can do today.” This is the man who discovered electricity. You’d think more of us would listen to what he had to say. I don’t know why we put things off, but if I had to guess, I’d say it has a lot to do with fear. Fear of failure. Fear of pain. Fear of rejection. Sometimes the fear is just of making a decision, because what if you’re wrong? What if you make a mistake you can’t undo? Whatever it is we’re afraid of, one thing holds true: that by the time the pain of not doing the thing gets worse than the fear of doing it, it can feel like we’re carrying around a giant tumor. And you thought I was speaking metaphorically
-Grey’s anatomy


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Egypt on Fire

Dear 2011, you still haven’t completed a month yet!!!

Following the events that toppled off former Tunis president Zein Al Abedeen Ben Ali, Egypt has been on fire this weekend – literally. The ruling party headquarters was torched during the protests. Also the Egyptians lost contact with the world when their phones and internet were disconnected on Friday. Partial communications are returning now though.

The result of these protests? Hosni Mubarak gives his infamous speech where he announces that the government will resign but he shall remain.

*Well, Mr. President, you totally missed the point, didn’t you?*

Now protesters are back on Egyptian streets. It seems they won’t be happy until they see their president join Ben Ali in Saudi Arabia. The Saudis could consider opening Arab corners for ousted Arab presidents 2011 complete with Biryani and all…cz January hasn’t even ended and yet another country is talking about “peaceful” rallies in their country on January 30. Can you guess where? (Hint: African-Arab as well).

Let’s just see what happens.

This is AH signing off.
P.S. Picture courtesy of Aljazeera website

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Reflections on Graduation Day

Today is the Commencement Ceremony for Fall 2010 class, and students are about to step over the threshold into the unknown. Graduation is the point in life where students move from the steady state to the unsteady state; where they discover that not everything they had to learn in university is pretty useful; where they discover that life out there is so not as-seen-on-TV.

Up until graduation, life is pretty much simplified. Whenever you have a d/dt in the equation, you can easily equate it to zero, put your shades on *cool* and drink lemon mint. But then in the real world, a lot of problems revolve around defining d/dt and not equating it to zero. For instance, you thought it was bad that you had three deadlines on the same day. But at the end of the day, your work was translated into a letter grade on a piece of paper. However, come the real world, and any mistake you make can cost money – and/or lives – so your level of alertness and concentration might need to shoot through the roof. For instance, when you’re a student, you worry about coursework and studying, hanging out with friends, etc….Graduate, get a job and get married, and suddenly the number of things you have to worry about catapult to a level that makes you wish you can worry about exams again.

So it’s not all dreary in your post-graduation life. After all, you probably don’t even know what you want after graduation, so you’re open to different ideas and plans. I remember a friend who came to me once before my graduation and asked, “So what are your plans?”

I told her, “Well, the usual, get a job, go to grad school or get married.”

She gave me this lecture about how we engineers need to think outside the box, and consider other options. Why are we so limited by these three options only? Go out there and explore…

Blah blah blah

So after so much thinking outside the box, I think it’s apparent what I did.

I got a job

And now I’m in grad school

In other words, I just stuck to the conventional path. Come her graduation and I asked her, “So what are you planning to do after graduation?”

She said something along the lines, “How much did you like it when people asked you that?”

The truth is, despite our God-knows-how-long in the system, a lot of us still don’t have our lives figured out. Maybe we are just going with whatever comes first. Maybe it’s to the better. We never know. Let’s just see what happens. And that’s when it dawns to us that whatever we studied in school….needs to just stay in school…among the library shelves and between the class walls.

Congrats on your graduation, Fall 2010 class. And remember, this is just the beginning.

So if you know someone graduatin today, feel free to share

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But It’s Just One Day….

I’m sure some people might be bored of the topic already because we’ve discussed it in The Four Wives Solution, On Weddings and On Weddings Part 2. But today’s angle is a little bit different. It’s a little bit more sober. It started with a discussion over the Hijab. There are some who argue that they don’t want to wear the Hijab because they’re waiting to get married, because they don’t want to take it off during their mixed weddings. So just don’t wear it until then, instead of wearing it and taking it off one day then putting it back on.

Now seriously, people… The argument makes it seem as though one option is better than the other, when they’re both wrong. The obvious question one must ask themselves is, can you really guarantee your life until you get married?

Then there’s the whole idea of starting off the marriage on the wrong foot, for example those who take off their Hijab for that one day, or those who find a nice can’t-breathe-in-this-thing strapless white dress, paint white on the rest of their bodies and tada! upgraded version of  the wedding dress to take into account that they are Hijabi’s in a mixed wedding. And don’t forget the topic of plucking one’s eyebrows, which is something that a lot of people in our MTV era are taking for granted, even though it is a major sin connected to la3na – or 6ard min ra7mat Allah. The argument is that some say they are doing it to beautify themselves in front of their husbands who they must obey. But is there obedience of people when it comes to disobedience of Allah?

As an analogy, when someone’s boss gives him a promotion, the employee focuses on bettering their connection with the boss, and his requirements to ensure that what they’re doing matches the new job description. By getting married, there’s a lot of things added to the married couple’s new plates – a new set of responsibilities- but how are they trying to better their connection with Allah (SWT)? The thing is, marriage is an important transition, it’s a shaky ground that can solidify or collapse with time. It’s an important time when we really yearn for baraka, yet some people may involve themselves in disobeying Allah (SWT)?!

Then there are those who take off the Hijab in front of the husband’s male members. Ya3ni, maybe the wedding is originally segregated but the guy walks in with his brothers and cousins, and the bride is looking pretty in her wedding dress which only the husband should see shar3an, but c’mon, dude we’re one big family now.

Then the people who argue, “But c’mon, we don’t usually wear such tight clothes, we don’t usually take off the Hijab, we don’t usually… This is just for one day.”

But death can happen in one moment, and we never know when.

Allah yihdeena jamee3an & yi7sin 5atematana

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Hitting Rock-Bottom

So sometimes at times of confusion and uncertainty, we do hit rock bottom. Forget getting stuck in the sand like that Land Cruiser as mentioned here, forget being anchored as mentioned here, forget fantasizing about burning bridges as mentioned here. Sometimes what happens is we just hit rock bottom.

No matter how hard we try to keep a straight face, to smile in the face of adversity, and to distract our minds from the state of pandemonium that’s within us, sometimes it reaches to a point where we can’t live in denial anymore, and we are left with desperation as intense as fire, and maybe we try to sleep it off in hopes that it will end up feeding on itself and eventually burn out. And it’s not like we feel as though we are running on empty anymore as much as we know that we are not running at all.

And yet the days are running; with or without us. It’s like the days are melting into nights, and nights are dispersing within the days, while we’re waiting for something to disperse whatever it is that’s eating us up from inside.

Yet, at times like this, we just need a break, a break from our daily routine, a break from the world and its glamor, a break where we sit in solitude, and reflect on the hard questions about our lives, our religion, our deeds. Because it may be our spirits that are hungry, hungry for a renewal of faith, a recharge of repentance, and a revival of tawwakul (dependance on Allah).

And the transformation may be slow, progress may be slow, but the moment we put the right intention in our hearts, and take the first step, our worries disperse, and we start believing that whatever the next step might be, it’s going to be for the best in sha’Allah. It might not be what we had put in mind all along; it might not appear as a “happy” moment at first; but whatever it is, it’s all a test…

اللَّهُمَّ اجْعَلْ لَنا مِنْ كُلِّ ضِيقٍ مَخْرَجاً، وَمِنْ كُلِّ هَمٍّ فَرَجاً، وَمِنْ كُلِّ بَلاَءٍ عَافِيَةً. اللَّهُمَّ آمِنْ رَوْعاتِنا، وَاسْتُرْ عَوْرَاتِنا، وَأَصْلِحْ نِيّاتِنا، وَذُرِّيّاتِنا، وَأَحْسِنْ خَواتِمَنا

And if you like this post, feel free to share


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Welcome To My World – Part 2

I spend a lot of my time in my head, in a world created by my imagination. My imaginary world has been there for as long as I can remember. I think it began because I spent a lot of time on my own, being the only girl and all. My best friend was my older brother for the longest time. But I couldn’t confide in him with everything. So I had a diary. I think I began in 2000. When I was hurt, I picked up a pen and wrote. When I was bored, I picked up a pen and wrote. When I was confused, I picked up a pen and wrote. I guess I could rationalize things better on paper. It was one of my problem-solving techniques.

My journals grew and grew and grew to include poetry and stories. My characters were people from my real life, so if I know you then maybe your name has been turned into Jameel, Akela, Sana or Omari and you have a different life in my world.

A time reached in my life when I was penning down 3 A4-sized pages before my 8 o’clock class at AUS. I wrote with my first cup of coffee in the TV room. I wrote as the early birds twittered outside my room’s window. I wrote with the first crack of dawn in the gym at the dorms.

I don’t know what happened exactly but suddenly I stopped everything. It might have been 2009 or 2010, but I went through a phase in my life when I stopped everything, deactivated from FB, stopped blogging, stopped journaling, stopped socializing…with time I picked up everything except my journal. I wrote from time to time on random pieces of papers that disappeared, but I had broken the habit.

Maybe it’s called growing up. Maybe I was afraid of being an ‘open book’ literally. Maybe…

So I was telling you about my world. The one I continue inhabiting in my head. In my world there are no bad people. Only annoying people. My world is filled with children’s laughter, candy and childhood innocence. My world is filled with everything I might ever want; a house at the Marina, an X5, and three parking spaces per car. My world is filled with thinkers who discuss deep ideas that are not mundane. My world is filled with dreamers who wake up every morning to add a piece to the puzzle of their lives. My world is filled with beautiful places; an ocean that crashes at the rocks, a dense forest with sunlight trying to escape the canopy, a snow-capped mountain reflected against a lake.

And my world…

Is filled with words. My eyes might see images, my ears might hear sounds, but in my mind they are all black words dancing against a background of white.

The closest I can get to my world is through my dreams – the night ones – because when I’m in them they feel real until I wake up and realize they’re just dreams. And sometimes there’s a fine line between my world and my reality, because I spend so much time in my world, it turns into my reality.

P.S. Welcome To My world Part 1 can be found here

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The 99

Okay I really want to know people’s opinions on this. I’m personally against the idea because it could easily go wrong as children’s knowledge of 3a8eeda could get distorted as a result of that. Adults could differentiate between what’s right and what’s wrong, what’s cartoon what’s real, but children with no knowledge cannot.

So what do you think? Leave your comments below.

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Mjomba Hassani’s Financial Tips

A lot of us are young adults who probably have an allowance, a salary or a stipend to live on. Regardless of what your lifestyle is, these are global tips on how to keep your wallet healthy.

1) Have a financial goal. One goal might be to have XYZ amount of money as savings. Or to save enough for a brand new car. Goals keep you focused and motivated. They also help you stay on track.

2) Keep a monthly budget. Allocate money for different areas of your life such as food, rent, entertainment. Then stick to your budget!Keep your budget realistic and revise it if you need to.

3) Spend less than you earn and save the rest. Some people allocate money for their savings at the end of every month, after spending 30 days spending. One way to go around this is to save the moment you receive your salary. Transfer 10-20% of your salary to a savings account and do not touch it. Forget about. It’s not there. You can’t spend what’s not there. Waiting until the end of the month can be a problem because there might not be anything left at the end of the month. However, saving from the beginning might make you control your spending behaviors especially if you discipline yourself to forget that the savings account exists.

4) Avoid the Latte effect. Those are the daily expenses that might seem little to you on a daily basis but are a real drainer when you look at the large picture. A cup of coffee from Carribou or Starbucks each day might cost you 16 dirhams. That’s 112 dirhams per week, 5840 dirhams per year. 5840!! Think of what you might have spent that money on.

5) Keep track of every fils you spend. Start a financial journal, and keep tracking where your money goes. See if you can save some money by getting special family-size offers. If you spend a certain amount of money on the gym everyday, see if a monthly subscription would save you money and choose that option.

6) Keep your card at home if you’re planning to window shop. A lot of times a trip to the mall to hang out or pass time can be a real killer to the budget. If you pick up something you like, ask yourself, “Do I really, really, really need this? What dent would this put on my budget?” And if you don’t really need it, then leave it. Don’t give in to temptation of watching the cashier swipe your card when what you are buying is an unnecessary expense.

Image via Google Images; http://news-libraries.mit.edu/blog/wp-content/uploads/2008/01/money.jpg

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The Four Wives Solution?

So in response to the four wives disease on Jamila’s blog, I have to disagree with her. Polygamy has always been a controversial topic, and surprisingly for a female, I support it 100% in this world where there are more women than men. Now of course, when I argue for it, married people throw me the famous, “You’re still single, that’s why you hold such opinions. Wait until you get married.”

Truth is, I am single, and I grew up among brothers, and have heard the polygamy arguments too many times from the male point of view. But we can’t change the fact that it is permitted in Islam for a man to marry four wives. However the husband must know how to treat them fairly. The problems linked to polygamy arise from the fact that the last clause “about the husband being fair ” is not being practised by all. And  one point about doing the wives justice is to equalize in everything other than matters of the heart.  Either the attention is diverted to wife number 2 so number 1 feels neglected and cheated. Or – after some time of great turbulence – wive number 2 is gotten rid of all together through divorce. So the whole marriage brings around more damage than anything else. Husband loses wife number 2 and wife number 1′s trust. Another problem is that husband is so busy moving from one house to another that he might neglect his children.

I must admit that women do get hurt. But they can control how much they hurt because of their man’s actions. If they link their whole success or failure in life by what their man does, then they’re playing a risky game because they can’t control their husband. Remember it’s not what happens to you but how you react to what happens to you. If the women takes the marriage as a part of her life and fills the rest of her life with children, charity work…etc…Then failing in one side (if she considers her husband marrying off ‘failing’ in the first place) will be more tolerable than in the previous case (where the man is the center of her world) because she can just pick up her pieces and rise again.

One thing I’ve learnt from my dealing with all those male members of my lovely family (some of whom have had second wives at some point in their lives) is that they are as simple-minded as much as we -females- are complicated. So when they get married for the 2nd time they might not really consider all the factors and impacts (and they might not think-this woman has been perfect for 20 years so I just need to get her roses and forget woman number 2 who might be after my wallet anyway), so they might get tricked into the second marriage or might get into a moment of weakness and marry wife 2 without so much “calculations” (which explains why the probability of divorcing wife 2 is very high…because they’re so simple-minded they think marriage is solution when your bored/have lots of money/want to have fun….and divorce is a solution when problems at home with wife 1 become phenomenal.So girls overcomplicate issues and overdramatize it when the guys really were thinking in simple terms. That does not justify what they do but it explains what they do.

Also a second marriage is always better than adultery. I remember a case when a woman called a TV show and told the sheikh about how she discovered that her husband was cheating with her on this woman, and she gave permission on this TV show to her husband to marry woman number 2- better than be in sin with her. A second marriage becomes beneficial when the husband wants children but wife number 1 is infertile. In another story, a wife actually searched for a second woman for her husband because she was infertile. That works even better because she gets a co-wife who she can connect with as well, thus they become friends.

Now of course, a lot of people will say these are just exceptions. On a lighter note, I think of it this way; having a part-time husband is better than a full-time husband especially if you can throw him out when he’s in a bad mood or angry and seems to scream at the slightest thing…I can imagine one telling their annoying husband, “Hebu usinisumnbue…nenda kwa mwengine…leo sii sku yangu…”

Now of course the heartbreak we see around when a second wife enter the scene…that’s too much soap-opera dramatization happening since women have amazing abilities at victimizing themselves.

What’s your intake on the topic ?

Watch the video until the end….

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Reflection of The Day-Mom

I just discovered the Post a Day Challenge and found it quite interesting to overcome the friction that’s made my blogging slow down if not stop for some time. So excuse me if I blabber nonsense because the goal of this exercise is to produce to overcome intertia and maintain momentum.

Since my cousin shared an interesting incident on his blog about his mom, I thought of sharing some memorable quotes by my own dear mother. One thing is my mother’s so down-to-earth and practical as opposed to us who have our minds in the clouds and tend to get disappointed as a result of that. So once I asked my mother, “What would you do if you had a million dirhams?”

Her reply? “Why think about it so much when I know it won’t happen?”

Or the other day when she was saying, “Mtu aogopa kukuozesha…” (translated to, “someone – a parent- would be scared of letting you go and get married…”)

So I thought she meant she didn’t want to let go of me, and wanted me to always be around…her little child…when I asked for an explanation, she said, “Cz they’ll just bring you back…” (meaning if you get married, you’ll just end up divorced).

*Gee mom, thanks for the vote of confidence*

In general, my mom is really wise masha’Allah…a student of life. She didn’t get a formal education but it makes me realize how true the quote, ”I was born smart but education ruined me,” might be. 

One thing she repeatedly says is,  ”Washindani (or wajuaji) hawapambani.”

The literal meaning is crudely translated to “stubborn (know-it-alls) people don’t get along well”. The figurative meaning is opposite to the saying, “Opposites attract.” It was quite interesting, because it made me realize how to deal with some people. If they were stubborn then to deal with them you had to be the less stubborn one. Also, the lesson here is that if you see two people always bickering, always fighting, always debating, then look for the similarities in their personalities, and you might discover that they’re so similar, they could have been Xerox copies of each other. The story becomes even more interesting when a third person stumbles in the middle of these two people, and honestly tells them of their similarities, yet they both deny it, because they hold a lot of negative feelings against each other. They might respond with, “How can you come and tell me I am like him when I dislike him this much?”

And the more resistant that each person is to how similar they are, the more likely that they are alike. In psychology, that’s known as living in denial. And a lot of times we do live in denial. We might refuse blatant truths that stare us right in the face, because we are too busy searching for excuses to support what we think is the right thing for us at the moment. Yet at some point, we come across strangers who throw lines that might be interpreted as a bahdala (scolding), and might be taken negatively at the time the line is hurled our way, as we react with, “This stranger doesn’t understand me, how can they say such a thing or make such a judgement?”

Yet over a year later, that line still rings in our ears, because it might have been a bahdala at the time, but now we process the same line as a wake-up call because of how true it was.  And you start seeing who you are through the eyes of others, as sometimes people see in you what you don’t even see in yourself, because you’re too busy living in denial.

And this could be better phrased by a quote cited in Randy Pausch’s book Last Lecture, “When you’re screwing up and nobody’s saying anything to you anymore, that means they gave up.”

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